Unfurgetable Fairy Tails
by Ripple Effects
Summary: Unsurprisingly, Chloe has stirred up some Akuma trouble again. However, this time, Marinette and Chat Noir will have to deal with some fairy tale adventuring to escape the Akuma's clutches. "First Cinderella, now this!" she groaned, surrounded by meters and meters of hair. "This better be the Disney version."
1. Chapter 1: Bibbidi Bobbidi Mew!

O n e

"Hey Marinette!" Adrien chirped as he ran up the stairs to his dark-haired classmate.

"Eep!" She jumped in the air. Adrien counted - about four feet - as she landed back with a nervous, skittish laugh. "T-Thanks awesome. I mean. Awesome yeah. Like g-great but thank me-gah!" She blushed furiously and stomped her feet. "I mean awesome, th-thank you! How Adrien you are? I mean, how are you?!" She smacked herself right on the head, much to Adrien's surprise. If only her brain could _stay_ in place.

Luckily he chose to brush that aside. "That's great to hear. I'm doing alright as well," he chuckled, though he saw her forehead beginning to burn red. "A-are you alright?"

"Just clawsome, thanks!" Marinette squeaked. "I mean, _awesome_!"

That darn _kitty-cat_ and his insufferable puns were getting to her head. She made a mental note to smack Chat Noir later on patrol.

"Chat N-Noir fan," she explained with a flush. _Nice save!_

Marinette, however, could've sworn a mysterious smirk danced on Adrien's lips before he reverted to a sweet (did she mention, _gorgeous?_ ) smile. "Cool. Well, I'll see you in class then? I gotta _cat-_ ch up to Nino." A wink.

Oh no.

A _wink_.

She mentally clutched her chest and screamed.

"A-A...A-Alright! I'll do you!" She paused, her face exploding into redness. "I mean! You do you! Haha...hahahahahahahahhahahahahahhaha..." She let out another set of nervous giggles (if that wasn't enough) and waved at him. "I'll see me - _you_ \- later then!" A mortified expression smacked her face just as Adrien turned around, laughing, to run up to a familiar boy with colorful headphones.

She squatted on the ground and groaned loudly (gaining a few stares). Why couldn't she speak to Adrien normally _just for once_? Just _once_. Was that so hard to ask?

"I saw that," Alya laughed above her. "I mean at least _he_ was the one who came and greeted you today! Isn't that improvement, Mari?" Her friend patted her shoulder comfortingly. "Though I think he's accustomed to your nervous antics."

" _Alya_ ," she mournfully moaned. "I'm **not** improving, and it's been a year! Even my improvement in math is better than my social interactions with Adrien!"

"Patience, child," Alya cooed and pulled up Marinette to straighten her shoulders (and whacked her back). "Look at you! A beautiful, cute girl who Adrien's going to fawn over in no time. You just gotta get your confidence in check. And _bam!_ Magic's gonna happen~!" She wiggled her eyebrows.

She sighed. "A girl can dream, right?"

"As the future godmother of your children, I'd say ditch the dreaming and get in action," Alya huffed and clapped Marinette's back. "C'mon. Let's get to class. We don't want to be late."

* * *

" _ **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_ "

Alya sighed as they both sat down. "Not again."

"Whuh," Marinette replied intelligently.

Alya jutted her shoulder in a particular direction. "Miss Prissy-pants, at it again," she whispered to Marinette, who looked over. From a distance indeed, was Chloe Bourgeoise, with an outraged visage, hissing at a cowering orange-haired girl. "Looks like it's Cristal this time. New girl from next door class."

" _You_ ," Chloe snarled. "have absolutely **_ruined_** my designer pants! These pants, of the _highest_ quality, are imported from Venice, Germa-!"

"Italy," everyone corrected.

"Whatever!" she shrilled and threw up her hands, only to smack them down to glare at a small, quivering classmate, who gulped. "Who do you think you are to dump that _nasty_ water on my Venice-imported pants?" she hissed (leaving out the country part).

"I-I'm sorry," Cristal murmured. "I-I _really_ didn't m-mean to..."

"Sorry's not gonna cut it!" Chloe screamed, her voice shrilling an octave higher, and tossed her hand to the left. "Sabrina. Phone. **_Now_** ," she ordered, and a phone immediately landed in her hand. "I'll call my daddy and make you PAY FOR EVERY - wait, what are you holding?" she asked, shifting subjects.

Everyone turned to see Cristal pale and clutch a notebook tighter to her chest. "U-uh...s-stuff..." she stuttered.

"Give it to me," Chloe ordered.

"N-n-no."

"I'll give you two options, little girl," Chloe huffed and flipped her hair. "Either you give that stinkin' notebook to me, or I'll call my daddy _right now_ and make you pay twenty-thousand three-hundred thirty-two dollars and twenty-seven cents! _With tax and **interest**_. And those aren't merciful," she hissed.

The girl whimpered helplessly.

"Hey, _Chloe_."

Both Chloe and Cristal turned to Marinette, who had a determined look and placed a hand on her hip.

"What do you want, dork?" Chloe seethed.

"You need to stop, Chloe," Marinette replied and took two confident steps forward. ("You go girl!" Alya shouted.) "Cristal only dropped distilled water. You don't even need to clean it like you would for orange juice or whatever. And she apologized too. You're overreacting." Classmates around them nodded in agreement as Cristal looked gratefully toward Marinette.

"These. Are. Designer. Pants. And they're _mine_ ," the blonde hissed and harshly shoved Marinette, who steadied herself by a desk. "None of you filthy peasants - except _Adrien..._ " she cooed lovingly before snapping back, "...would understand this situation! All of you with your _nasty_ normal clothes bought without a care, thinking that disgusting water is no biggie. You probably wipe your snot everywhere on your clothes and not give a single-UGH!" She walked over to Cristal - who was unaware - and snatched the notebook from her hands. "Let's see what kind of _secret_ 'stuff' you have in here," Chloe sneered.

"N-No!" Cristal cried. "Stop!"

"Let's see - oh my! What's this?" A smirk danced on Chloe's lips as her eyes narrowed. " _Once upon a time, a beautiful prince lived in a castle. He was gorgeous by all means - a fair blond prince who captivated all of his audience with a simple pure smile-"_

"N-n-no please! S-stop! Please!" the girl begged as she reached helplessly for the out-of-reach book. Marinette huffed angrily and stomped over.

Chloe barked out a laugh as she hopped onto a table and pushed the girl down. "Is this one of your silly fairy tales? How amusing. Let's continue, shall we? _Yes, he was the fairest prince of all in the kingdom of Paris._ " She shrieked in laughter. "Kingdom of Paris? Are you serious?! And here's the best part!" Chloe cried gleefully and cleared his throat. " _His name was **Adrien Agreste**_."

Both Marinette and Cristal froze.

Adrien, who had entered the classroom, paled at the mention of his name as well as the scene before him. "Y-yes?" he stuttered as all eyes fell upon him. He suddenly had the urge to say ' _Potty break!_ ' and run away.

"I'm absolutely _dying_ ," Chloe giggled in glee. "This loser has a crush on you, Adrikins~! Can you believe it?!" And she collapsed in laughter again.

"W-what?!" he stuttered again. _Who_? His green eyes immediately caught Marinette's deer-in-headlights look.

And completely missed the equally wide-eyed Cristal behind her.

"This dork~!" Chloe said nonchalantly before hissing, "Get off my leg!" and pushed Marinette off the desk.

Adrien, out of his trance, immediately ran forward and caught the blunette in his arms. A slight tinge of pink dusted his cheeks when she looked back with wide, ocean-blue eyes and tomato-red cheeks. _Marinette has a crush on me?_ he thought (obviously misinterpreting everything).

For Marinette, her brain happily ran out of her head and flew away.

"Is it true...that you have a crush on me, Marinette?" he breathed.

"Whuh," was her intelligent reply (Alya facepalmed).

"Marinette..."

She thought how gorgeous his emerald eyes were (besides wanting to snog the living daylights out of him) - so clear, compassionate, beautiful, warm. Like magnificent crystals glittering.

Crystals...

.

OH, SHOOT. _CRISTAL_.

Marinette spastically jerked an arm, causing Adrien to jump too. "WAIT A-ADRIEN! CRISTAL MEANT CHLOE! I MEAN C-CHLOE MEANT C-CRISTAL-!" she blubbered.

Marinette didn't get to finish when a flutter of dark energy floated into the room and surrounded Cristal, who had her head bowed down. A dark shadow hung over her face as she slowly picked herself up and dragged down Chloe from the table with a harsh yank. The blonde yelped and fell onto the floor, scampering backwards as classmates ran out of the classroom, shrieking. Out of fear, Chloe tried to follow suit.

"Uh uh **_uh_** , Miss Chloe the _spoiled brat_ ," a dark, feminine voice giggled. And the dark energy burst forth from Cristal's body, surrounding the doors and shutting them with a click. The dissipating dark energy revealed Cristal with dyed white hair and a long purple hood that cloaked her entire figure. "Let's have _Fairy Godmother_ teach you a lesson, eh?"

Marinette blanked for a second.

Then thought, _well crap_.

"Bibbidi-Bobbidi Boo~!"

A bright white light shot toward the screaming blonde as Marinette ran and pushed her out of the way (Chloe shrieked indignantly about her clothes once again). She looked at the bright light, her heart sinking and waving farewell, before a black blur covered her vision and lifted her body like it weighed a feather.

"That was _fairy_ -ly brave of you, my _Purr_ -incess," a familiar voice purred in her ear, and they flew out of danger's path. "Though I must ask you to refrain from putting yourself in these _cat_ -astrophes."

"Chat Noir!" she gasped (and mentally braced herself for the puns). "Where did you-?!"

"A secret, _purr_ -incess~" He smirked. "I also heard from a tiny fairy that you are a Chat Noir fan, no?"

Adrien.

 _Oh no he did not_ , she thought, horrified, and mentally cursed. She liked him too much to plot revenge.

Marinette stumbled out of his arms when they landed. "Maybe, maybe not?" she laughed sheepishly before pulling him away from a blast. "I wonder who that little fairy was?"

"Hmmm, a secret, though much thanks for that~" he purred and took her hand to kiss her knuckles. "Your _purr-_ ince will solve this in minutes. Wait here for me." A wink.

She snorted.

"Who said you'll solve this in minutes?" A loud voice rang above them. Their attention was again drawn to the purple-cloaked Akuma flapping around while cackling. "I have one of your classmates in hostage. What shall you do? Gihihihihi!"

Marinette looked around (thinking, what a weird laugh) before her before her heart dropped to her stomach. "Adrien," she whispered in horror.

"What?" Chat asked.

" _Adrien!_ " she repeated.

"Do you need something?"

"Adrien's **_gone_**!" she emphasized, her eyes bulging out with tears.

"OH. Uh...I, uhm, totally meant that."

"Chat! We've got to save Adrien! He-he was just behind me w-when the s-situation came-and oh!" She felt tears leak down her cheeks. "We have to save Adrien! Who knows what she has done to him!" She looked round the chaotic empty classroom with no blond in sight. If only she could transform into Ladybug at this moment!

"C-calm down, princess! Adrien's fine! I-I uh-uhm saw... _him running out the classroom!_ Yeah! Don't worry, he's safe!" Chat laughed nervously. He felt cold sweat run down his neck. He hated making himself sound like a coward, but he had to come up with some scenario. And curse himself for almost giving away his identity.

"Really?" she asked hopefully. "H-he's safe?"

"Y-yeah, don't worry! I _paw-_ romise~!" he crossed his heart with a grin.

She blinked away her tears. "T-Then who...?"

"Over here, _peasants_!" came a snarling voice. They whipped around to see Chloe bobbing up and down in a vine-wrapped cage. "I've been trapped here for _decades_ when you two were flirting over there!" she hissed irritably. "Now save me, you uncultured alley-cat!"

Chat suddenly felt like the right thing to do was to grab Marinette and spring out the windows.

"Okay...so maybe I don't have the _best_ hostage..." Cristal mused with a sigh. "How about this, Chat Noir? We can end all this mess once and for all _if_ you allow me to do whatever I want to Chloe Bourgeoise **and** for you to give up your Miraculous? It's a shame Ladybug isn't here yet, but yours would do for now."

"Tempting...for the first part," Chat murmured, (seriously considering it) ignoring Chloe's angry shrieks. "...but I can't agree with the second part. Oh yeah, how's ol' Hawkmoth holding up in the shadows? Is he being weird as usual?"

"He's doing alright. He keeps telling me to do stuff, like taking your Miraculous, and it's honestly a bit annoying," Cristal shrugged nonchalantly and twirled her Akuma cloak. "I'm gonna start shooting magic stuff now cuz it's fun." She twirled her wand and shot millions of sparks in Chat's direction.

He pulled Marinette behind him and twirled his baton into a shield to deflect the sparks. "Won- _fur_ -full attack! But not that _claw-_ some as this!" He jumped up into the air and extended the baton to knock away the wand. "Catacylsm!" he shouted and ripped apart the wand with his claws.

Marinette held in her breath, waiting for the black butterfly to appear as Chat landed neatly besides her. "The b-black butterfly! It's not there!" she cried desperately as the Akumatized girl threw her head back and laughed (momentarily choking on dust).

"Of course not. That's not my source." Cristal hacked a furball and cleared her throat. "Come forth, Fairy Book!" she commanded as a familiar notebook floated in front of her. "Bibbidi bobbidi boo!" And the notebook poofed into an enormous ten-by-twenty foot brown-encased book, its pages flipping wildly as Cristal kept sneezing.

"Well, that makes it _purr_ -ty obvious what the possessed item is," Chat said, revealing an array of pearly whites. "I don't suppose you could keep still? Just for a _mew_ -ment?"

"Obviously not," Cristal rolled her eyes, rubbing her nose. "Also, your puns are getting really overused, Chat Noir." She paused. " _Fur_ -real." And gave him an air high-five.

" _Disgusting_ ," Chloe hissed as she folded her arms. "I'm trapped in this ugly thing, and _two_ people are making cat puns. One a stupid cat, and the other an ugly grandma."

Cristal narrowed her eyes at the grumbling blonde. "Oh, I can think of a million things to do to you with my new magical powers." A smile curled on her lips. "Don't all the bad guys in fairytales suffer?" she then turned to Marinette, who was trying to hide behind a tipped over desk. "And I haven't forgotten about you, Miss Marinette."

The blunette cursed under her breath. She was about to transform. _So close_.

"I know you tried helping me, so I guess I'll be more lenient," Cristal pondered. "Maybe the minor character?" Her eyes glazed over to Chat Noir, who hopped over to Marinette and swung his baton protectively in front of her. "Ah, that's utterly _purr_ -fect," she gasped. "A princess and a prince, already in front of me~!"

"What she talking about?" Marinette muttered to Chat, who shrugged.

"Why are _they_ the prince and princess?" Chloe scowled. " _I_ should be the princess, and _Adrikins_ should be the prince! Adrikins, save me!" She helplessly flapped her arms in the vines. "Where's my darling, Adrikins?!"

"Adrien is _mine!_ " Cristal hissed, her cloak turning black.

"Stop making it worse, Chloe!" Marinette snapped.

"He's _my_ prince and no one else's! Especially not yours! Or **yours**!" She pointed angrily at Marinette, who raised her hands and let out a tiny _Eep_. She, however, softened, after seeing Chat step closer to Marinette. "I guess I'll forgive you since you have a kitty-cat prince there. Maybe I'll play cupid...just this once." She huffed out loud as she raised her book. The pages flew back and forth wildly, glowing an ethereal white light.

"Catacylsm!"

"Not so fast, kitty-cat," the Akumatized girl retorted as a light flashed from the book and exploded into Chat. He crashed into a few desks, slightly hammered from the attack, as he shook his head in a daze.

"This feels like a hangover," he said.

"Chat!" Marinette shouted.

"Everything's going according to plan. Spectacular!" Cristal clapped. "Now for the final attack!" She cleared her throat (and hacked another furball) before chanting:

 _Salagadoola mechicka boola,  
bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!  
_ _Put 'em together and what have you got?  
_ _bippity-boppity-boo!_

"What the heck is _salagadoola_?" Chloe said crossly. "Is that Italia-?"

She was cut off by an enormous light that burst from the book and enveloped the room. Chloe began shrieking obscenities left and right but was eventually muffled. Marinette covered her eyes from being blinded and squeaked when she felt her body being sucked toward an unknown source.

A leather arm wrapped itself around her waist.

"I got you!" he shouted before both their bodies spun toward the vortex of light, flashed into a powder of golden dust, and disappeared.

* * *

 **A/N: Totally forgot to add an A/N lol :D Hi everyone...!**

 **Bye..? :D**

 **Jk, leave a review if you want to! I'd love requests for certain fairy tales to write!**

 **Okay, have a nice day~**


	2. Chapter 2: Purrincess Cinderella

T w o

A cold barren floor.

She sneezed loudly.

And _dusty_.

Marinette fluttered her eyes open, only to sneeze again with snot shooting out. Embarrassed, she hastily wiped her nose and found...

Herself in rags. _Dirty_ , _smelly_ rags. The type of rags back at the bakery which were over ten years old. They were the ones her father refused to throw out due to some strange attachment, but her mother did anyways.

"Oh god," she groaned, slightly disgusted (feeling like Chloe at the moment), and stood up, only to smack her head on the low ceiling. "Ow, what the friggin' croissant?!" The blunette rubbed her aching head and waddled her way to the bed, which collapsed once she placed a hand on the railing. Not to mention, two splinters were wedged deep in her fingers.

"Wonderful," she bit out. "Just _wonderful_." Or as Chat Noir would say, _won-fur-ful!_ She sat on the stone-hard, broken bed and pressed two un-splintered fingers against her temples. "Think Marinette," she murmured to herself. "What the cupcakes is going on? First, you were in the classroom. Then, Miss Prissy-Pants turned some - Cristal - into an Akuma grandma...Then Chat Noir poofed out of nowhere and - oh _god_ , you're in that...Akuma book," she deadpanned and groaned loudly. Speaking of Chat Noir, where was he? She had recalled him grabbing her before they were warped into the book.

And...oh _lord_ , was Chloe here as well? She wished with all her heart that answer was a big fat **no**.

"AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH-!" she began complaining.

"SHUT UP!" A voice roared below. And it was quieter. "Is that ugly fatso up yet?"

Marinette instantly frowned. Was that in reference to her? What was even worse was that the voice sounded familiar.

"Oh Cinderella~! Come down~!" The same voice sang in a sickeningly sweet sound.

 _Cinderella?_ the blunette wondered, _The fairy tale? I_ _s that supposed to be me_?

Marinette shrugged nonchalantly and decided to ignore it.

" **I SAID, COME DOWN!** " the voice shrieked an octave higher, causing Marinette to squeak and stand up (while hitting her head in the process).

"C-coming...?!" she shouted painfully. To her relief, the voice didn't scream again, and the blunette hobbled to a trapdoor, opening it and cautiously stepping down the ladder, hoping with all her heart it wouldn't collapse like her bed. So she was Cinderella? Then who...?

"Look who finally came out of her shell," a voice sneered haughtily and Marinette found herself staring at Sabrina Raincomprix, who turned up her nose, and next to her, Chloe Bourgeoise ("Gosh _dang_ it," Marinette muttered under her breath), who looked equally confused and pissed.

"Who and what the heck is Cinderella?" Chloe scoffed, obviously not noticing Marinette's presence. "If you're trying to trick me, Sabrina, _nice try_."

Marinette quirked up an eyebrow. Did Chloe not know the Cinderella tale? And also, did Sabrina not recognize them as classmates?

"Oh, _sister_. How I love you so~" Sabrina cooed and pulled Chloe's arm into hers. "Your jokes are getting funnier each passing day."

Chloe immediately yanked her arm away with a grimace when suddenly her nose wrinkled. "Oh, what is that _stench?!"_ she cried. "Did you fart or something, Sabrina?!" Marinette sniffed herself. Oh, it was the rags.

Sabrina blinked. "N-no! It's obviously Cinderella, you dunce!" she hissed, ignoring Chloe's offended " _What did you call me?!_ " shriek, and cleared her throat to turn to Marinette. "Have you prepared breakfast?" she asked.

"Uh...no?"

"Then - I don't know _\- GO MAKE IT_?!" Sabrina deadpanned. "Go away this instance, Cinderella. Your stench is making Sister think I'm passing gas," she sniffed and pinched her upturned nose.

"Sister? Cinderella?" Chloe echoed dumbly. She pointed at Marinette (finally acknowledging her presence), "She's an ugly loser named Marinette, not some prick called Cinderella. What kind of name is Cinderella anyways?" she scoffed and crossed her arms.

"Uh...I'm gonna go...make breakfast. Bye," Marinette said, turning around but realizing something. "Wait, where's the kitchen?"

Sabrina rolled her eyes. "Are you this useless? I am tired and hungry, Sister is abnormally pissed, and you're not making our day any better."

"Also, yeah, why the _heck_ am I your sister?" Chloe cut in angrily. "You're supposed to be my go-to slave, Sabrina."

" _Sister!_ " Sabrina squawked with wide eyes. She placed a hand over her heart and dramatically flopped to the floor. "What has happened to you?! Don't you remember? Cinderella is _our_ go-to slave. Have you lost your mind?"

"Last time I checked, no," Chloe snapped before she paused, thinking. "Wait a minute... Did you say, _she..._ " The blonde gleefully pointed at Marinette, "...is my go-to slave?"

"Uhm, it's _our_ go-to slave," Sabrina corrected before muttering, "And that's what I've been saying for the past five minutes."

The silent pause made Marinette have a cold sweat, and she gulped when Chloe turned with an evil glint in her eyes, rubbing her hands together and cackling loudly. "Oh, this is _sweet, **sweet**_ revenge," Chloe murmured happily as she advanced toward the shivering blunette.

* * *

Adrien found himself in a predicament when he blinked his eyes open.

Or currently, Chat Noir found himself in a predicament.

He was somehow stuck on a tree.

The greatest hero of Paris; the well-known partner against crime with the famous, beautiful, and powerful Ladybug; _the_ Chat Noir - was _stuck._ In a friggin tree.

He clicked his tongue and perched there, pondering what the heck he was going to do. Did the Akuma teleport him somewhere?

First, he had tried reverting back to his human form. "Claws in, Plagg!" he called, but was met with silence. "Plagg?" Nothing. He raised an eyebrow. He had already used Cataclysm once in the fight against Fairy Godmother; the second time was a farce, but Fairy Godmother had completely seen past it (and smacked him into the desks). Adrien had expected his timer to go off like crazy, but nothing happened.

Then again, it was a good thing he didn't revert back. He would've lost his crazy-good balance as Chat Noir and...as he looked down... _plummeted thirty feet below._ That wouldn't have been a good ending.

"Prince!"

He nearly jumped out of his skin - or suit.

"Prince!" A voice wailed below, and he looked down, seeing a familiar face.

"Nino!" he shouted excitedly. "What are you doing there - woah, what are you _wearing_?" Nino was wearing something completely the opposite of his usual attire. Instead of a casual T-shirt, cap, and headphones, he adorned a red suit (with many decorations) and white pants. Strangely, though, he still kept the signature orange headphones. "Uh, Nino - "

A look of pure shock passed on Nino's face as he kneeled down. "T-The Great P-Prince knows and mentions my name! I am not w-worthy as your servant!" Then he muttered to himself, "Wait, did I tell him my name before?" before dramatically flailing down onto the ground.

"Uhh..." Why was Nino referring to him as a Prince? And _servant_? His best friend was a servant? Adrien scratched his head and sighed through his nose.

"P-please, Great Prince! Your father requests your presence for the ball planning tomorrow," Nino called.

Father? His ears perked up. And a _ball_? He didn't recall any _balls_ being planned out this month.

Then again, his father brought up random events quite often. "Uh, so Nino, can you -?" he began

"The Great Prince mentions my name once again!" Nino wailed and pathetically floundered onto the ground again. "The Prince is very kind, but he must refer Nino as _servant_ or _slave_! Or nothing," he added after a few seconds.

The blond pinched his nose. This wasn't reality. His best friend, who laughed and joked with him everyday, turned into his personal _servant_. And no, he especially did not remember making him Chat Noir's personal slave. "Uh, okay. Can you help me get down then?"

Nino's eyes shone brilliantly. "Of course! Whatever is the Great Prince's request!" And snapped his fingers. "MAIDS, BUTLERS!" he bellowed loudly and clapped his hands. "THE PRINCE REQUESTS OUR AID TO...' _GET DOWN_ '!" And sent another sparkling smile to the mortified hero.

Adrien slapped a hand against his face, clearly embarrassed. "Maybe I should've added _quietly_ to the order," he hissed to himself.

* * *

Marinette was tired.

No, that was an understatement.

She was _devastatingly_ exhausted. She could feel her cheekbones jutting out and her legs crumbling like pudding beneath her. Usually, that happened whenever Adrien was nearby, but this time, he was nowhere in sight. That meant she was currently _extremely_ fatigued.

"Oooooh Marinette~" Chloe chuckled and pointed at her feet. "I _demand_ another thorough massage and manicure." She examined her nails. "I don't like this color. It's too... _peachy_ for my likings."

Marinette's scowl deepened.

"And I want more cake!" Sabrina demanded.

"Shut up, Sabrina!" Chloe snapped. "You're gonna be fat after all that cake you're stuffing through."

"Here, Sabrina." Marinette kindly offered a slice of cake, "You're not fat at all."

"I _know_ ," Sabrina snapped back, "An ugly, fat peasant like you doesn't have to remind me!" And she haughtily yanked the cake from Marinette and unceremoniously stuffed it into her mouth.

It took all of Marinette's will to not flip the cake into Sabrina's face.

From downstairs, they heard the lock click and the door slowly open.

"Are we being robbed?!" Chloe gasped. "Marinette, go check and offer your soul for my safety."

"No, you dunce!" Sabrina snarled. "It's our _mother_. She's back from work."

" _Our_ mother?" Chloe repeated incredulously. "How dare you try to be part of the Bourgeoise family! I'll call Daddy and fire yours!" She reached into her pocket, only to find nothing but dust. "Crabnuggets."

"Yooohooooo~!" A voice sang from below. "Where are my beautiful daughters? And WHERE'S CINDERELLA?! THERE'S DUST ON THE STAIR RAILINGS!"

"Coming _**mother**_ ," Marinette grumbled as Chloe and Sabrina both snickered from behind.

It was a very long staircase as Marinette glided down and hopped over the last remaining stairs to come face to face with...

"Monsieur _Bourgeoise?!_ " she nearly screamed in surprise. Her yelp caused Chloe to immediately bound in after.

"FATHER?!" she screamed in the same tone. "W-W-WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU?!"

"How _rude_ ," he sniffed. "Of course Cinderella's piggish as ever. But I've expected better from you, darling."

Before them was the Mayor of Paris - the once highly-esteemed man - in a poofy, pink laced dress. He wore a tall white curly wig, which was adorned by many...equally-pink bows. He quirked an eyebrow before clearing his throat. "Sabrina darling, come down. I have an announcement for _onnnnnlllyyyyy_ you and Chloe," he stressed, throwing a _hmph!_ at the still-shocked blunette.

"Oh fa - I mean, _mother_!" Sabrina cried as she awkwardly hobbled down the stairs and tripped. "I- **ow** -missed you so much! Cinderella's a pain in the- **ow** -behind as usual, but Chloe has started to- **ow** - _lose_ her mind!" She limped past the gaping Chloe and into the Mayor's arms.

"Yes, I've noticed," he said distastefully and flipped his hair, nearly dropping his wig. "In any matter, I have to tell you two about the _ball_ held tomorrow in the royal palace. _We_ as qualifying single mademoiselles are required to attend, for the King wishes the Prince to choose a wife! How about it? I'm _over_ one-hundred percent sure one of us will qualify."

"W-wait," they turned to the pale-faced Chloe, " _you're_ attending this too?"

"Well, of course!" He flashed her a one-hundred-watt smile. "Your single mother is still a young girl at heart~"

"Of course, fathe - I mean, mother!" Sabrina sang and embraced him once again. "Everyone will have their attention on you~! We'll be absolutely _rich_ in no time!"

"Where do you think you got your beauty genes from?" he asked, and they both laughed through their nose. " _Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh_ ~"

 _"_ T-This..." Chloe trembled, red-faced. "T-this is an ABSOLUTE ATROCITY TO THE BOURGEOISE FAMILY!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs and spun around to stomp up the staircase. "MARINETTE, I DEMAND ANOTHER MANICURE!"

"Well, whatever is the matter with _her_?!" Monsieur Bourgeoise exclaimed before he blanched. "And who in the world is _Marinette_?"

* * *

"And so I told her, that was utterly _meow-nificient!_ Right? Cuz I'm a cat. And she was magnificent? Eh?"

A couple of weak laughs followed.

Chat Noir cleared his throat.

And immediately they exploded into out-blown fake laughter, though a few were in the back, begging to be fired from the castle.

He smiled, satisfied. "Oh but _p_ _aw_ -don me Nino, what is this ball that the King was talking about?" Thankfully, the King wasn't who he expected it to be. Instead, it was a jolly, old man who Adrien absolutely did not recognize and liked due to their shared interest in cat puns.

"O-o-oh," Nino smiled, though his parlor was pale. "T-the ball is f-for your m-marriage," he wheezed out.

Adrien stopped in his tracks. As so did the hundred maids and butlers that followed suit. "Wait a _mew-_ ment, did you say marriage?" he repeated.

Nino dramatically clutched his chest in pain after hearing another pun. "Y-yes. You will choose a w-wife from t-the attendees..." Nino replied faintly and coughed. A few patted him on the back ("It's the overused puns," one said as others agreed, murmuring).

Adrien's eyes narrowed. First, he was a prince. Now there was a ball held for his choosing. He tapped a finger on his chin. Was he, along with Chloe and Marinette, really trapped in a fairy tale? He didn't believe it at first, but after the Akuma events slowly accumulated in his mind, it made sense.

It also explained why Nino (the servant) flopped down in a bow. "P-please prince," he coughed weakly. "I-I-Is there a-anything e-else y-you'd...l-l-like?" The rest of the servants held in their breaths, waiting for his answer. "Please?! Do you need a glass of water? Do you need to take a bath?! Anything?!" Nino shouted as he flung himself on the floor again.

"Oh, not really... _except_..." Adrien flickered his eyes over and saw everyone staring back with wide, fearful eyes. "I was wondering if you all would listen to the rest of my su- _purrrrr_ -ior cat puns! They're all pretty... _cat_ -chy...if I may say," he said cheerfully, completely misreading the atmosphere.

"Y-yes, prince..." Nino sighed tiredly, and the rest mournfully followed the happy cat.

* * *

"Oh, _cupcakes_!" Marinette huffed and stomped her feet.

It was only a few minutes ago that the three - Monsieur Bourgeoise, Sabrina, and a clearly-seething Chloe - had left for the ball. Marinette had begged and begged and even pulled out a decent dress, only to have it smeared with frosting by Sabrina.

God, who knew Sabrina could be _worse_ than Chloe?

And speaking of the devil, Chloe had eagerly asked if someone by the name of _Adrien_ (Marinette turned pink) was the Prince.

"No," Monsieur Bourgeoise deadpanned.

And that was all it took for Chloe to turn into a screaming, hissy fit, demanding that she wanted to stay home and make Marinette do more manicures and petticures on her. But Monsieur Bourgeoise, clearly having a headache from Chloe's fit and Marinette's begging, dragged Chloe out the door and slammed it in Marinette's face. ("Kids these days!" Marinette heard him huff.)

So...now what?

"Oh yeah, I'm supposed to have a godmother appear or something!" Marinette recalled happily, though it quickly turned into a frown. "But how long am I supposed to wait?"

She sighed helplessly and dropped her face into her arms.

"Do not fret, child!"

She yelped and smacked her head when she jolted backwards. "That...friggen hurts!" she seethed through gritted teeth and looked up. "W-wait, what are you doing here, Alya? And how did you get in?"

"Oh silly child," Alya cooed (while muttering, "Who's Alya?") and spun in her white, fairy-dusted dress as she flew over and patted the confused Marinette. "I am your fairy godmother!"

Marinette paused. "Grandmother?"

" _God_ mother," her friend corrected patiently. "Oh, you must be devastated, not being able to attend the ball."

"Uh, yeah," Marinette dumbly answered and chuckled. "O-of _course_. Absolutely devastated."

"Your godmother understands your feelings. Don't worry! She's here to fix all your worries...temporarily," Alya added as an afterthought. "Kinda like drinking, but a better hangover."

"Haha..." She didn't know how to respond to that.

Fortunately, Alya continued, "Oh dear, I'm wasting time! It's already seven!" She waved her wand and transformed Marinette's rags into a blinding pale blue gown that fluttered white chiffon behind. Beautiful glass heels ("Can I have flats instead?" she asked as Alya ignored her). "And we can't forget your hair!" The brunette waved it again and tossed her hair into wavy, sparkling cascades. "Oh. My. Perfection. Someone's gonna want to get in yo pants tonight, gurl!" she said giddily.

"Oi-!"

"Well, they can't though," Alya immediately interrupted with a sad shrug. "It wears off by midnight, so no grandchildren for now. Anyways, off you go!" She twirled a pumpkin, and it dropped into a beautiful white carriage.

"Oh, it's absolute beautiful!" Marinette exclaimed happily before she paused. "Wait, where's the footman and-?"

"It's automatic-driven! Child, you need to keep up with the times~!" Alya chuckled sweetly.

Marinette opened her mouth but decided to keep it shut as she hopped into the carriage. "Honestly, thank you so much Alya!" she cried and waved as she disappeared off to the castle. "You'll get all Ladybug interviews when this is finished!"

* * *

Oh ho _ho_...

She was getting _all_ the looks.

Marinette didn't think she was _that_ pretty (plot convenience?), but it felt really good. She could feel herself model-walking, strutting like she was the queen-bee of the world and losing all clues of her natural clumsiness.

Marinette the Princess, she smiled.

"Oh, _beautiful_ mademoiselle. Would you like to have this dance with me?"

"No, with _me_!"

" _Me_!"

"I asked _her_ first!"

"I _challenge_ you, fool!"

Immediately, the confidence died and she fell back into a blubbering, blushing mess. "U-uh a-ah no is-ish okay. S-sorry!" Marinette squeaked and ran (absolute hell on heels) to the buffet table, where she gasped and stuffed a grape into her dribbling mouth. So much for queen-bee on top of the world.

"Hello _Purr_ -incess," a voice purred and a leathered hand touched her bare shoulder. She let out a squeak and whirled around. "I see you've been _cat_ -ching some eyes with your beauty."

"Chat!" she gasped, relieved as she came face-to-face with the masked feline. "Where were you? And..." She giggled, seeing how he wore a suit over his spandex outfit.

"Oh, just at the royal palace. I hope my outfit doesn't look too _cat_ -astrophic," he smirked and led her to the floor. "Shall we dance while this ball lasts, princess?"

She laughed. "I see you haven't transformed back yet." They stopped in the middle, and he kissed her hand. "I thought you already used Cataclysm against Cristal," Marinette remarked.

He spun her around and placed a hand on her hip. "You are quite informative, princess. But no, I haven't," he agreed while pulling her closer. "I actually can't transform back for some reason. Something from the Akuma's power is preventing me from reverting back."

She gasped. "Your Miracu-"

"My Miraculous is safe." Chat revealed a toothy smile. "You really do know a lot, princess." He leaned in closer and whispered in her ear. "I suppose you're a fan after all."

Marinette felt her face flush. "That's...good," she managed to say.

She could feel his smirk as he pulled away and looked into her eyes. A shiver ran down her spine. She helplessly stared back, captivated by the green forest eyes, as they continued dancing and spinning and twirling across the smooth, dark, empty floor. The other dancers had already pulled away, allowing the beautiful blue princess and her feline prince flutter in the spotlight.

Strange. She had forgotten how to breath. And not once did she look away from the green, unblinking eyes of Chat Noir. She felt like she was going to melt into his arms and be carried away into the Parisian night. Rooftop by rooftop. Without thinking, she stepped closer. And closer. And _closer_ as the violins trilled to the highest note.

And gently rested her head against his chest.

She felt him stiffen. And then relax.

The music in the background faded into a gentle waltz.

"You're making my heart pound, princess," he chuckled. She enjoyed feeling the vibrations from his chest, as a smile graced her lips and a blush for her cheeks.

"You're a good dancer, Chat," she said quietly.

A pause. "My...father made me practice."

"I see." She sensed hesitation and decided not to pry further. "So have you noticed we're in a fairy tale?"

"Kinda. I was wondering why Nino was calling me a prince instead of Chat Noir."

She snorted. "Alya's my godmother."

" _Godmother_?" he echoed before falling into laughter with Marinette. "I suppose you're Cinderella?" he chuckled.

"Maybe~" she smirked. "Chloe and Sabrina are my stepsisters."

"Hmmm...I'm not surprised," he said, amused. "Who is your step-mother?"

Marinette pursed her lips, trying not to snort. "It's..." she giggled. "...Mayor Bourgeoise."

His eyes widened as his head dropped to Marinette's shoulder. She felt his hair tickling her neck and realized he was trying to hide his laughter. "Oh my...I can't take it anymore," he gasped and wiped a tear before dropping it back to her waist. "I suppose Cristal has a _claw_ -some sense of humor."

"Indeed," she smiled.

The music eased to stop as Chat Noir released her and dropped into a bow. "A pleasure dancing with you, my _purr_ -incess," he purred and kissed her hand once again. " _Purr-_ haps we can have another dance soon?"

"Of course. Thank you, Chat."

Chat grinned and extended his arm. "Shall we go to the balcony? It has a beautiful sight of the gardens."

"I-"

 _Ding dong. Ding dong_.

The overhead clock boomed in rage as the minute hand ticked onto the twelve.

They both looked at each other, wide-eyed. "Midnight strike," murmured Chat.

"Yeah," she breathed before blinking and looking around frantically. "A-Am I supposed to r-run or?"

"No. Stay," Chat smirked. "Let's spare the trouble of me going around the kingdom to find my princess." His eyes dropped down to her glass slippers. "Besides..." he said as a magical dust began fluttering around Marinette, "You are a single mademoiselle after all. Isn't that all the qualifications state?"

She giggled as a magical aura shone around her, and her blue dress faded into tatters. Her hair stopped shimmering. And the dust and cinder from cleaning the Bourgeoise mansion returned to spot her pale skin. Only the slippers remained, though one was now in Chat Noir's hand, the other on Marinette's left foot.

They looked at each other. And back at the glass slipper in Chat Noir's hand.

"Plot convenience," they both said.

"OMG, IT'S CINDERELLA!" Sabrina wailed from a distance. "HOW DID SHE GET TURNED INTO THAT?!"

"It was _obvious_ _ly_ Marinette!" Chloe irritably hissed and smacked the crying Sabrina. "You need new stinkin prescriptions! And get _a room, you two nasty lovebirds!_ " she shrieked at them. "I can't believe the Prince was Chat Noir instead of _my adorable Adrikins_!"

Chat hid a smile as he bowed down. "If I may?" he asked.

"Of course, my _Purr_ -ince," she smirked.

"OH THANK GOD SHE LIKES OVERUSED CAT PUNS!" Nino yelled from the other side. "I WAS GONNA WARN HER!"

Chat scowled at the sheepish but cheering Nino as he slipped on the glass shoe. "Absolutely _p_ _urrrr_ -fect fit," the blond purred before pulling her into an embrace.

And the room flashed into a bright white light.

* * *

 **A/N: Wow, thank you for the support on the first chapter! :D 12 reviews, 22 favs, and 37 follows! I really did not expect it :o (Also I originally forgot to turn off moderation for guest reviews, so sorry about that!)**

 **Thank you for the kind reviews and _especially_ the awesome suggestions! So far, I have Tangled, Sleeping Beauty, Snow-White and Rose-Red (wow, rare one :D), Mulan, Aladdin, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast (anyone watched the movie? I loved it!), and Princess and the Pea. (props to Guest #3 for the last five LOL). :DD**

 **BUT hopefully, the second chapter is okay D: I really rushed to finish it after reading the supportive reviews (sorry if it's meh DDD:). If there are mistakes, criticisms, or questions, feel free to leave a review or PM! And finally, please drop a suggestion you have in mind for a fairytale! I will definitely do them or look the rare ones up! XD**


	3. Chapter 3: Hairs and Crackers

3

Marinette rubbed her eyes sleepily, recovering from the diminishing white light, as she picked herself up. Through bleary eyes, she sniffed around.

No stinkiness.

No dustiness (she didn't feel the urge to sneeze chaos upon the world).

Marinette abruptly stood up and moved.

Until her foot tripped over a _bundle of strings,_ and she faceplanted the ground with a squeak.

"I should always wish for the _worst_ to happen," the blunette grumbled and rubbed her sore nose. Her hand slipped on the same texture again, and she screamed when her head bonked off the ground. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" she shouted, rubbing the sore, before she realized _what_ was on the ground.

Hair.

 _Tons of hair._

And not only that. Tons of blue _sparkling **magical** hair_.

"First Cinderella, now _this,"_ she groaned, surrounded by meters and meters of hair. "This better be the Disney version."

Then she paused. "Oh wait, the original one was okay too."

Nevertheless, Marinette cautiously tugged at the glittering blue hair, feeling her scalp pull. ("Oh _god_ , it really is _my hair,"_ she deadpanned.) Before she could search for a pair of scissors - preferably a chainsaw - to hack it all off, a shrilly voice called from faraway.

"OH RAPUNZEL! LET _DOWN_ YOUR HAIR!"

Marinette looked at the window, where the voice kept on shrilling. "OH RAPUNZELL~~~~MY LOVELY, _LOVELY_ DAUGH-"

And promptly _ignored_ it.

She absolutely did not (repeat, NOT) want to know who Mother Gothel was after seeing who Cinderella's stepmother was. Confronting another haughty Mayor Bourgeoise in pink bows was something she wanted to avoid at all cost. She shuddered, imagining other possibilities. Chloe wouldn't be pleasant.

A pause.

Or _Sabrina,_ as Marinette learned from being Cinderella.

Marinette busied herself in finding some sharp object, humming quite happily as she went through random chests like nobody's business. "Detergent, _nope_. Sponge, _nope_. Paint, _nope_. Brush _, nope,_ " she murmured, tossing each item out the window (not caring that some hit the shrieking Mother Gothel below). " _Oooooh!_ Animal crackers! Not what I need, but definitely yummy!" she said cheerfully and put it to the side. The blunette looked back in. "What the - there's even a croissant in here!"

"RAPUNZEL! I **DEMAND** YOU TO LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!" Mother Gothel (whoever she was) shrieked below and began coughing irratically. "I (cough) AM YOUR _MOTHER_! YOU ARE BEING (cough) AN IRRATIONAL TEENAGER RIGHT NOW!" Then a pause. "ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD AGAIN?!"

Marinette rolled her eyes and irritably threw an animal cracker out the window, hearing a shriek and then a quiet " _Oooh!_ Animal cracker."

* * *

Chat Noir was in a second predicament.

He was stuck in a tree.

Again. (Why was he always teleported here?)

Not only that, but there was _catnip_ waiting at the bottom of the tree (just in case he wanted to jump _thirty feet below_ like a sane person) and waving tauntingly at the feline hero.

"You've got to be _kitten_ me," Adrien hissed and crossed his arms. Already, his sensitive nose picked up the growing smell, and he teetered unsteadily before bashing his head on the tree trunk and pinching his nose. "Not today, catnip. _Not_ toda-"

" _AAAAAHHHHHHHH!"_

He jumped out of his skin. Or suit.

"Very déjà vu...ish," he murmured, expecting a wailing Nino to flaunt toward the tree. What he got instead was a yellow stallion shrieking (do horses shriek?) as it ran towards his tree and stomped a few times.

"I'm a _horse!_ " it cried, disgusted. "OMG!"

His ears flickered towards the voice. Feminine...that sounded _oh-so-very_ familiar. One that belonged to his childhood friend -

" _Chloe_?" he gaped. "Oh my _god_ , is that you Chloe?"

The horse let out an angry _neigh!_ before shrilling, "Why in the _world_ am I a freaking _horse_?!" She then looked up. "Ugh, it's you out of all the people! Why couldn't it be Adrien for once?! Not that I want him to see me like this," she added, raising a hoof in disgust.

Chat sighed and rubbed his temples. Now _he_ was the one stuck with Chloe. In _Chat Noir form_. He knew Chloe wasn't a big fan of his alter-ego and spent all her love on his other self and Ladybug (who always unwillingly rescued Chloe Akuma after Akuma).

"So how are you going to get us out of this mess?!" the blonde snapped irritably. "I need to get back to Adrien! Not with you as a stinking horse!"

Then again...he thought optimistically, it would be better for Chloe to be irritated at him rather than gooey-eyed and lovesick when he was Adrien.

Thick, _sticky_ lipstick on his cheeks.

Excessive perfume.

Shrilly voice (well, that hasn't changed).

He shivered at the memories and cleared his throat.

"Alright, first of all, can you get rid of all...that...uhm, _catnip_?" he asked cautiously. He realized he could've used his baton to get down (in the Cinderella chapter), but he wasn't going to risk the darn catnip.

She looked down. And then up.

Adrien covered his ears.

An ungodly shriek. "Are you serious?!" she spat. "Paris's hero falls _flat_ at the sight of _catnip?!_ See, this is why Ladybug is a better hero than _you'll ever be_!" she snarled but snapped away the catnip with her mouth and spat it aside. She continued to do so, grumbling this and that.

He smiled in amusement, though something popped into his mind. "Oh yeah. Do you know which fairy tale we're in?" he asked.

"What the _heck_ is a fairy tale?" was her intelligent reply.

"N..never mind," he sighed. At least he was at an excellent viewpoint. Chat looked around, his hand hovering over his eyes as he squinted in the distance and stopped at a tall, white...

 _Tower_.

He leaned closer and squinted more, seeing how the walls were covered in rich foliage and swirling vines. There was a single window at the very top, and unmistakably _,_ he saw a blue _shimmering_ head poke out. It slipped back inside, only for something to fly out of the window.

"Marinette," he gasped. "Rapunzel. Of _course_." He watched as she flung something out the window again. A chair?

"Whadyahay?!" Chloe sputtered through mouthfuls of catnip.

"Chloe!" he said ecstatically, bobbing up and down, "I found Marinette! I know which story we're in! We're-blaadfhsdw!" He was cut off by a paper that flew into his face. Carefully, he peeled it from his mask and read:

 _WANTED: CHAT NOIR  
_ _INFAMOUS THIEF WHO USES OVERRATED CAT PUNS  
_ _ALIVE OR DEAD  
_ _REWARD: 560,000,000 EUROS_

And then:

 _ALSO WANTED: CHAT NOIR'S STALLION  
YELLOW (blonde idk)  
_ _DEAD  
_ _REWARD: EXOTIC DINNER_

"Man," He clicked his tongue in distaste. "this isn't going to be easy." And hid it from the grumbling Chloe.

* * *

Marinette absolutely _wished_ she hadn't peeked out the window. She didn't know why. She just _did_.

Curiosity killed the cat after all.

"RAPUNZEL!" Lê Chiến Kim looked up with a hand on his hip. "THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING! LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!" he shrilled.

"Why are you Mother Gothel?!" she screamed. "Out of all the people-!"

He threw his hands in the air. "What do you mean, _Why am I Mother Gothel_?! Who else would I be?!"

"I don't know, a guy named _Kim_?!"

Kim momentarily stopped. "Who's Kim?"

"GO away, you _pervert_!" Marinette shouted and threw a chair at the squawking Kim. "That's SO GROSS!"

The floundering jock dropped his jaw. " _GROSS_?! I AM YOUR MOTHER, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! WHY AREN'T YOU LETTING DOWN YOUR HAIR?!" He barely dodged a table that crashed onto the ground. "I DEMAND YOU TO STOP! LISTEN TO YOUR MOTH-ACK!" A towel landed on his face.

"This...is SO WRONG!" she moaned and covered her face. Now she had two images to erase: Mayor Bourgeoise in pink frilly dresses _AND_ Kim in a black knee-length skirt. Oh god, those _hairy_ legs. She bashed her head against the wall and checked.

Nope. The image was still there.

Marinette bashed her head again before flipping another chair out the window. "GO AWAY, YOU...YOU...YOU _PEDOPHILE_!" She desperately grabbed the nearest item and tossed it out.

"NO!" Kim cried in horror as a lacy bra fluttered gallantly in the wind. "STOP!"

Marinette stopped. "What?"

"Those Victoria's Secret sales only come once a year!" he squeaked.

"AND WHY IN THE _WORLD_ DO YOU NEED A BRA?!" Marinette chucked a notebook outside before something struck her. "WAIT, WHY DOES VICTORIA'S SECRET EXIST IN THIS WORLD?!" she yelled. "NOTHING IS MAKING SENSE!"

The jock rolled his eyes. "Honey, Victoria's Secret is _everywhere_. And did you know? The C-"

And promptly blacked out when a pot bonked off his face.

Marinette sank next to the wall and sighed in relief, wiping sweat off her brow.

Then sat some more, thinking...

She didn't... _kill_ him, did she? A hand went to her gaped mouth, and she quickly scampered up and peered over the window.

There was Kim, lying in all the glory and amidst the broken furniture (and next to a dented pot), with his legs sprawled out. The wind flew by, fluttering his skirt upwards and - Marinette covered the unmentionable parts with her hands.

She waited grimly.

Until Kim spastically twitched, snorted, and let out an ungodly snore. ("..So hard...teenagers...god dang hair," she heard him mumble.)

Marinette sucked in a breath and flopped onto the ground, relieved.

* * *

"So..." Chat began. "I guess we're in a pretty **_cat_** -astroph-"

" _Neigh_ ," Chloe said crossly.

They were surrounded by a gang of thieves.

"Chat _Noir_." One particularly nasty-looking bandit (leader?) pushed past the crowd and smirked at the wide-eyed hero and quivering yellow/blonde horse. "You and your overused cat puns need to be on a hold. _Forever_." Mountainous cheers supported him.

Adrien gaped. "Hey, they're not that bad."

"SILENCE!" he bellowed and the bandits behind him whooped and hollered. He shot them a glare, and they immediately quieted, murmuring among themselves. He cleared his throat and continued, "Your puns are the source of bad luck. _Unimaginable_ bad luck, Chat. Everytime we hear too many of your puns, we become extremely fatigued. Some of us fall very... _very_ sick. And...and..." He seemed to shed a tear as hands comfortingly patted his back. "I will never forget Howard," he murmured with solemn eyes.

"Howard," the rest mumbled solemnly.

"Who the heck's Howard?" Chloe quietly hissed. "Did you _kill_ him?"

"What? _No._ I don't even know who he is," Chat hissed back.

"However, it is not only your terrible puns and Howard's revenge we're here for," the bandit (leader?) continued and pulled out a crinkled _Wanted_ poster. "We're also here to collect your bounty."

They smiled wickedly when Adrien paled.

But no, it wasn't from fear of the bandits.

 _It was fear of the female horse besides him_.

 _Oh lord_ , the blond thought as he nervously covered his ears.

As he expected, Chloe opened her mouth and let out a scream rivaling a banshee, shuddering the mountains and splitting the sky apart. " **HIS CAPTURE REWARD IS 560,000,000 EUROS WHILE** **MINES IS _DINNER_?!**" Chloe shrieked and snarled at the wide-eyed bandits. " **YOU WANTED TO _EAT_ ME?! FOR DINNER?! I WILL CALL MY _DADDY_ AND HAVE YOU ALL EXPELLED FROM PARIS!**" she roared.

They stared at the pissed-off horse.

And then their jaws crashed into the ground.

"A-A-A TALKING HORSE?!" the bandit (leader?) squeaked in a girly voice.

"The horse can _talk_?!"

"M-my eardrums! They're still ringing!"

"A CURSED VOICE!"

"ABSOLUTE _WITCHCRAFT_!"

"What's Paris?"

"Shut up Philip!"

" _RUN!"_ one finally shrieked.

The bandits turned tail and quickly scattered, screaming death upon the world and disappearing into the night while an awkward silence blanketed the two.

"Well...uhm..." Chat said, not knowing how to continue. "Eh...g-good-"

" _Don't_ ," she snarled and angrily stomped into the grass as Chat followed in silence.

To Chat's pleasant surprise, however, they ended up near to the tower in the matter of minutes ("Plot convenience," he muttered). While Chloe kept grumbling in the back, he slithered by the shadows, waiting as he peeped up from a bush and...

"Woah," he gaped. "Did a tornado pass by?"

Before him were scattered, broken furniture that lay like desolute ruins. Chairs. Tables. Paint Buckets. Brushes. Undergarments. Cups...

" _Ooooh!_ Is that an animal cracker?" he happily hopped out and picked it up.

"Indeed it is," a voice cackled from the darkness. " _Chat Noir_. You have fallen into my trap."

Chat raised his baton in a defensive stance. "Who's there? Show yourself!"

"No." After minutes of standing in cricketing silence, the voice snapped, "Alright fine." And stepped out into the glowing moonlight.

"Kim! You..." Adrien gasped and looked at Kim's comically-large red bumps on his head. "...What happened?" ("Also what are you wearing?" he grimaced at Kim's disturbingly short skirt)

Kim irritably stomped his feet. "I'm. Not. Kim!" He pointed up at that tower. "My daughter's been calling me that and chucking furniture at my head for the past hour!" He pulled out a knife and waved it threateningly at Chat. "I suppose _you're_ the reason why she's like that! All rebellious and _disobedient and thinking her -!_ "

"Oh, are you her Father?"

"I'M HER MOTHER!" Kim shrieked and charged forward. "I WILL HAVE YOUR BOUNTY AND YOUR HEAD, CHAT NOIR!"

It took Adrien a few seconds to realize and accept that Kim (oh god, that _skirt_ ) was Mother Gothel. He barely dodged the thrusted knife, feeling a sting on his cheek, and flipped backwards into a prowl. "Easy there."

Kim charged again, though this time Chat hopped up and stepped on his blubbering face, launching off and landing a solid kick on his back.

"Ap- _paw_ -ling skills, I see," the cat said and quickly shuffled into his pockets. "Dang, I gotta write that down for later..."

The jock ran again with a vicious strike. Chat jumped again, but Kim grabbed and yanked his belt, causing the feline to smash into the ground. "A bit overconfident, huh?" he snarled and readied his knife at the recovering male.

"Oh. My. God. What the _heck_ are you wearing, Kim?"

Chat sighed. Kim froze and turned around, seeing a yellow/blonde horse who looked pissed and disgusted. However, at that moment, the wind decided to lift Kim's skirt and flash his family jewels to the particularly stunned horse.

"I-I think I'm going to barf," Chloe bluntly stated, turning green.

Kim dropped his jaw. "D-did that horse j-just talk?" he stammered.

Chat took the chance to quickly kick upwards into Kim's parts (a girly shriek) and flip him off the ground. "Thanks Chloe!" he yelled.

All he heard were retching noises.

"Ooooooh!" Kim grunted and stumbled upwards. "Y-you...gah," he bunched over with a hiss. "I...will END YOU!" Kim fumbled painfully until he decided to just roll onto the ground and pull a string. Before Chat could comprehend, a rope twirled itself around his ankle and yanked him up.

He dangled. He tried reaching up. And sighed. "Well...that was un- _fur-_ tunate," Chat finished lamely.

"G-give me a minute...I-I will...e-end you!" Kim gasped painfully as he continued clutching onto his unmentionables. Chloe continued vomiting.

"Take your time."

A few minutes passed as Kim stumbled upward, looking disoriented and still pained. "A-a-anyways, you s-shall PAY FOR TH-THAT!" he shouted and unsheathed his knife once more. He wobbled unsteadily towards the lamenting cat.

"Chloe," Chat said. "Help-"

"BLAASDFAHWDFAWDL," she barfed.

"Okay, never mind."

"I WILL TAKE YOUR HEAD AND BECOME _FILTHY RICH!_ " Kim weakly cackled and raised his sword. "MWHAHAHAHHAHAHA! SAY YOUR PRAYERS, CHAT NOIR!"

"Please wear pants."

"BLLAAAARRGHHHHH!" Chloe agreed.

"DIE!" Kim shrieked, offended.

Chat closed his eyes, waiting for the strike.

Chloe barfed more.

 _GONG!_

Chat peeked open one eye. Then the other.

Kim was knocked out cold. A dented pot rolled next to him, heavily abused and extremely sad-looking.

"Geez! He got up again!" A voice huffed and spat, "Pervert!"

Chat gasped happily. "Princess!" he cried while dangling. "You have saved my life! I am indebted to you forever!" (and muttered, "Please help me.")

Marinette sighed as she placed a blanket over Kim's revealed...parts. "This chapter is seriously disturbing because of this guy." She latched onto the tree and pulled out a sharp glass shard, swiping Chat's ankle noose and freeing him. "There you go."

He twisted around and landed on his feet. "I am embarrassed that happened to me. Thank you," he chuckled.

She giggled lightly. "No problem, Kitty."

He smiled wholeheartedly and...

Wait. His smile faltered.

Kitty?

He blinked but decided to take interest in Marinette's awkwardly-chopped short hair. "Did you...?"

"Yeah, I kept tripping because of it," she snorted and pointed at the tower with long dangling blue hair. "It really _was_ a useful rope."

"BLAAAARHAFDW," Chloe interrupted as they both turned to the still vomiting horse.

"Is that..." Marinette observed the color of the horse. "...Chloe?"

"Who else?" Chloe managed to snap before spotting an unconscious Kim and letting out another rainbow of barf.

They both snorted, as an ethereal white light began glowing and surrounding the forest.

"Well, that's...that. It kinda sucks that I wasn't with you guys a lot," Marinette sighed and glared at the twitching Kim. "Just with _Mother Gothel_." She turned back to Chat with a warm smile. "Thanks for coming to my rescue, Prince Kitty."

He looked at her.

 _Kitty_.

There it was again.

So many people have called him _Kitty_ before...but the _way_ she said it...just the _tone_ by itself...he saw a flicker of red and black in his vision.

He stepped forward. And again, his arm reaching out for her hand.

But...it was impossible.

No, it couldn't.

This was _Marinette_. His clumsy, shy classmate.

Not. Not her...

 _She rescued herself and saved your life_ , a voice sang.

"Lady..." he murmured softly. "My La-"

And the light finally consumed the room, erasing everything and teleporting the three into the next story.

* * *

 **A/N: Uhm, has anyone had the issue of their story not updating on FFN? o-o Sorry for reupdating, but that's not working as well.**

 **Kinda not sure about this chapter. It's shorter than Cinderella, and I felt like I had too much fun with it. I really tried toning it down at the rushed ending haha**

 **Updated List: Cinderella (x), Tangled (x), Sleeping Beauty, Snow-White and Rose-Red, Mulan, Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Princess and the Pea, _Hercules,_ _Swan Princess, Brave, Rumpelstiltskin, Puss in Boots_ (LOL interesting), _Twelve Dancing Princesses_ (oh, don't worry Radiant Celestial Aura, I'll make enough female characters xD), and _Snow Queen_ :) Italicized Titles are the new ones added~**

 **What I can tell you is that I'm leaning toward Beauty and the Beast being the finale :D I said a lot, but thank you for your support! And as always, leave a review if you want for any mistakes I've made/suggestions for improvement, or simply more fairy tales :D**


	4. Chapter 4: Sleep and Allergies

F o u r

What was pleasantly surprising was the soft gentle grass that caressed her cheek and the sweet, tangible fragrance of the daisies, tulips, and dandelions that tickled her ankles. She felt a subconscious smile spread across her lips and breathed in deeply.

Only to sneeze pandemonium upon _hell._

"Cruddy pollen allergies," Marinette huffed and rubbed her red nose. She looked around. The small amount of flowers grown on her balcony were alright, but here, a meadow stretched beyond hills and toward the horizon, fluttering in the wind and tangled themselves among the roots of majestic trees.

A rabbit hopped by her feet.

"Ooooh! So cute!" she crooned, bending forward to pet it.

However, it didn't share the same sentiment as it _hissed_ and proceeded to walk away on two hind feet.

She blinked.

Marinette was about to stand up before she felt something warm and leathery that encased her hand. Looking down, she spotted Chat Noir, who was comfortably curled in a ball asleep with one hand extended towards her own.

 _Oh_ , she thought, _I don't have to go find him for once._

Marinette tugged. "Wake up Chat," she whispered.

His grip grew stronger. She tugged again, and this time, the feline grunted, clearly unhappy, as he curled tighter and pulled her closer and closer...

Until Marinette decided to kick him square in the face.

"MEOW-CH!" he yelped with a clear footprint on his face. "What's going on?! Where's the Akuma-oh, hi Princess! I guess we're together in this story," he said cheerfully. "Geez, I was dreaming that I got kicked by Ladybug in the face when I tried courting her. How _hilarious_ is that?" ("It still hurts though," he said in confusion).

"Is that so?" she laughed nervously.

Unaware, Chat released her hand to stretch into a yawn. "Well _Purr_ -incess. Any clues what story we're in?"

"No, just bipedal rabbits."

"I see," he said (as if it were normal) and yawned again. "Ah, it's sooo nice here. Mmmmm...I'm just...a little..." His ears drooped as he snuggled back into the grass.

She whipped around. "Don't you dare-" And sneezed.

"...Slee...py..."

He snored.

"Oi, wake up and help me think!" Marinette demanded. "We need to get out. We're stuck in the hands of an Akuma after all."

Another snore. She sighed helplessly.

Marinette touched her earrings. She had checked, and Tikki wasn't communicating with her at all or allowing her to transform (when she tried to escape the Rapunzel tower). As Chat had mentioned earlier, it was something about the Akuma's power that unsettled the Miraculous strength.

Chat mumbled incoherently, disorienting her from her thoughts, and twitched. "I'm sleepy, go away Nathalie..." he snorted.

Nathalie.

Wait _, Nathalie_? Marinette's eyebrows furrowed. The name sounded familiar...but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. _Nathalie...Nathalie_...

"Oh!" Marinette's mouth suddenly dropped into an O. "It was that woman who ordered one-hundred croissants last Thursday..." (and began crying when her father cheerfully asked if it was for her friends). She turned toward the muttering feline, stroking her chin inquisitively. For the first time, she had received a clue to his identity!

Hmm...

So what exactly _did_ he have to do with a friendless woman who could eat one hundred croissants by herself? Was he also a lonely soul who sought comfort in croissants like Miss Nathalie? Were they _lovers_?

She stared at him, eyebrows scrunched up. Who did he look like? Many people passed by the bakery, so she could at least try, right? (She also wondered why she didn't do this earlier).

 _Okay_. Her eye twitched. _You can do this..._

So...

 _Blond hair_...

She thought for a minute when she peered at his closed, fluttering eyes.

What color were his-

OH yeah.

 _Green eyes_...

Her eyes wavered across his body.

Decent figure...like a _..._

 _Model..._

And he was...a _male_ (hopefully).

Male. Blond hair. Green eyes. Model figure...

Her eyes widened as her heart dropped.

"David _Beckham_?" Marinette gasped before she smashed her head repeatedly on the ground. "Friggen _croissants!_ I don't know anyone like that!" she wailed and flapped her arms. "This is too hard! Maybe I'll just ask him when he gets up." And decided to busy herself as she hummed contently, yanking the poor flowers and fastening them into wreaths.

She sneezed some more. Gosh dang pollen.

"CHILD!"

"Whuh," she said intelligently.

"THERE YOU ARE! _BRIAR_!" a feminine voice cried as something tiny zipped by Marinette's vision. When it stopped, the blunette realized it was a miniature Alya in a fairy costume, wearing a worried expression. "Goodness! We thought you ate a poisoned berry and died! O-or got eaten by a dragon! O-or..." Alya paused, her eyes widening in horror. "got _lost_."

Marinette was wondering how the third choice seemed to be worse than the first two, but she shook her head. "Fairy Godmother!" she exclaimed. And _Briar_? Wait, was it referring to _Briar_ Rose in Sleeping Beauty?

"Oh no, I'm your fairy _grandmother_ ," Alya said.

"Grandmother Alya?"

"Actually, just Granny Alya," she waved her hand dismissively. "We must hurry back to the cottage! It's late in the afternoon and-AUGH!" the brunette suddenly shrieked and pointed at the content Chat snoring away in the flowers. "WHAT IS... _THAT_?!" Alya then pointed to the still-present footprint on Chat's face. "Don't tell me you got kidnapped and-G-GOT ASSAULTED?! D-D-Don't worry! Granny Alya will _TEACH_ this spandex pervert a lesson-!" She began rolling up her sleeves.

"Nonono!" Marinette cried and stopped the fairy. "He's my friend, Chat Noir."

Alya quirked an eyebrow. "His name is _Black Cat_? That's not very original and HIGHLY suspicious. Don't be scared, Briar. Granny Alya has enough powers to-!"

"Ah, t-t-that's his pseudonym!"

Alya stopped. "...Then what's his _real_ name?" causing Marinette to freeze and laugh nervously. Alya menacingly waved her wand at the dozing cat (not very threatening, in case you wondered).

"Uh...it's uh... _ **Kim**_!" Marinette squeaked under her scrutinizing gaze, "H-His name i-is L-L-Lê Chiến Kim!" And mentally facepalmed herself. The disturbing image of Kim flaunting his skirt and swaying his hips still tainted her once-innocent mind. So, of course, it was the first name that popped into her mouth. The blunette telepathically sent apologies to the unaware feline.

A price to pay for secret identities.

Alya hovered by Chat. "So this person...who's _not_ a pervert..." Marinette nodded furiously. "...is your...friend... _Kim_."

"Yes." It was the most painful _yes_ she ever had to say.

"Oh...B-Briar!" Alya suddenly choked as she unsuccessfully tried to hug Marinette. "O-oh...Granny A-Alya is s-so...PROUD! Y-You're making Granny ugly-cry!" Alya blew snot onto her dress. " _You finally found a friend!_ And snagged a hot one at that," she added, eying Chat's lean figure with interest.

"Oi."

"Nevertheless, we must depart to the cottage! It's getting late," Alya cried. And stopped to whisper, "You should invite your... _friend_..." She wiggled her eyebrows.

Marinette gave her a look. "He _is_ my friend."

"That's what they all say before they start popping out babies!" Alya said snidely and flew before Marinette could give a good whack.

* * *

He was woken up by a mini-Alya smirking at him.

 _Smirking_. Quite devilishly too.

He closed his eyes.

And opened them.

She had _wings_. And a _wand_. And she was _tiny._

"Uhm..." Chat blinked, slightly fearing for his life. "Hello."

" _Hello_ ," she crooned happily and looked at - what he assumed - someone else, "He has a _very nice_ voice. I'm proud of you!"

"ALYA!"

He blinked again and rubbed his eyes. "Marine-?" He was cut off by a desperate Marinette making x's with her arms.

"TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU, _KIM_!" Marinette squeaked.

He felt his heart drop. " _What?!"_

"Kim!" Marinette said vehemently. "You are Kim!"

"I'M NOT KIM!" he shouted (and checked just in case).

"YES YOU ARE!"

"I'M NOT THAT-!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YOU MUST!"

"WHAT?! I'm not that weirdo who-!" And instantly, he flashed back to those _hairy_ , muscular legs under that disturbingly short skirt. He shivered involuntarily.

"Just _trust me!"_ Marinette hissed at him when Alya began wandering off, bored and confused. "A lot of things happened while you were asleep. So just follow my lead for now," she murmured reassuringly.

Not that she dealt with it in the best way.

" _Fine_." He folded his arms and looked at Alya, who wandered back. "I am indeed _Kim_." He spat out the name.

Marinette sighed, relieved as Alya nodded approvingly.

"Oh good! I was worried that you never revealed your name, and since she had no idea what your name was, she had to make one up for you!" Alya chirped, not noticing their flinch. "It's relieving to hear, really. I almost thought she was held hostage by a pervert who pretended he was one of her relative! Like...insisting he was her _**mother**_ or something ridiculous like that!" (They flinched again, remembering a certain someone) "Well anyways, a pleasure to meet you Kim! I'm the fairy _grandmother_ of Briar Rose! Granny Alya, for short!"

"M-my...pleasure...as well," Chat finished reluctantly. At least now he knew which fairy tale they were in.

"OH I spoke too much per usual!" Alya sighed disappointedly. "Come with us, er...Kim! You must be tired, seeing you were napping in the slightly **_poisonous_** sleeping flowers! Good thing we woke you in time, or you could've _died_. Anyways, we should head back to the cottage! OH, and don't worry, Briar! We already gave you a resistance. Something like an allergy curse to those flowers!" she chirped. She happily flew into the woods, with a sneezing blunette and horrified feline.

* * *

"Sweet pumpkins!" Rose cried happily.

" _Yes,_ " Juleka murmured, rubbing her hands.

"Right?! Right?! Just _LOOK_..." Alya proudly flew around Chat's abdomen. "...at these _ABS_. You could lay anything on this beautiful work of art!"

Chat, feeling self-conscious, covered it with his hands.

"Uhm..." Marinette began. "So..."

"Yes! _Briar_!" Alya flapped back to her. "It's your birthday tomorrow! Sixteen years old, oooooh YOU'RE SUCH A BIG GIRL NOW!" She tried tackling Marinette (failing yet again). "No wonder you're off to the forests so much! Why didn't you tell us earlier that you were off smooching with Mr. Spandex?!"

Chat tried, "Uhm, my name isn't Mr. Spande-"

"I bet they went further than smooching," Rose cackled.

" _Yes_ ," Juleka repeated, a glint in her eyes.

"For your information, I am _not_ smooching or doing _anything_ with Mr. Spandex!" Marinette said crossly (and took on the nickname). She turned to the awkward fumbling feline. "Tell 'em, Mr. Spandex!"

"Uhm." And he blanked out.

The three fairies - Rose, Juleka, and Alya ( _oh_ , _especially_ Alya) - gave Marinette the _eye_ , causing her to throw her hands in frustration and stomp outside for a fresh breath of air. _Breathe, Marinette_ , she told herself, _just breathe and you'll get out of this book in no time._

She inhaled deeply.

And sneezed violently.

Right, she forgot about the flowers. Darn allergy curse.

Marinette was nearly about to wipe her snot with the sleeve of her shirt when the bush rustled. She jumped back, about to alert her feline friend and the three fairies, when a crow popped out.

"OH, it's just a crow," Marinette chuckled.

What she _didn't_ expect was the crow to say, "Oh, it's just a prick." in a very irritated and familiar voice.

Marinette gaped. " _Chloe_?"

"Who else?!" Chloe snapped and accidentally let out a _CAAAWW!_ "When we get out of this book, I'm gonna expel that stinking Cristal from Paris!"

"Maybe you should not-"

"OH! Little Marinette is taking an Akuma's side! I wonder how everyone will feel after hearing that!"

The blunette crossed her arms. "And whose fault was it in the first place?" she snapped back. "It was only a few drips of distilled water, and you made it into such a fiasco! Now look where we are!" Marinette gestured to...a gorgeous forest (but that wasn't the point).

"Like I said," Chloe snarled. "none of you guys would understand _me_ except for _Adrien_!"

"Yeah of course! Just because Adrien is from the upper class like you are. Rich and handsome too. But you know what, Chloe? You're completely different from him! At least, he considers everyone's feelings. You're...y-you're...just SELFISH. Sure, they're some designer-pants imported from Venice, Italy! But Cristal barely did any damage, _and_ she apologized, but you HAD to humiliate her in front of everyone and Akumatize her. Why do you have to go to such lengths for those pants when you can simply buy another-!?"

"My Mom-!"

Marinette paused. "What?"

Chloe froze.

She looked slightly shocked before she snapped back and sneered, "Like I'll tell a loser like _you_ anything!" She turned around and hopped back the direction she came from before adding, "Lila wants you to die from a pricky thing at the castle. She's really ugly with green skin and nasty horns and trapped some equally-ugly prince in a dungeon. Though I also hope you suffer **big** time, _brat_!" She spat. And promptly flew away.

Marinette stood there listlessly as Chat popped his head out the door, evidently having heard the conversation.

"Wow...that's the nicest thing Chloe has ever done," he commented.

* * *

The three fairies had gone out for grocery shopping (despite being in the middle of nowhere).

"I'm going."

"WHAT?!" Chat pulled her aside. "Princess, we _know_ how this story goes." He pointed out his index finger. "First, you go to the castle." Then middle. "You get lured to the spinning wheel, prick your finger, and go _bye-bye_." Ring. "Everyone at the castle goes to sleep." Then pinky. "Your 'true love' (he air-quotes) saves the day by capturing your lips. That's so much work."

"Chat-" she began.

"We don't have to go," he insisted and gestured to himself. "Like Cinderella and Rapunzel, we can adjust. _I'm_ here. _You're_ here. It's fine. We can somehow make it work."

" _Chat_ ," Marinette repeated. "Cinderella and Rapunzel are _different_. In Cinderella, you were Prince Charming and I was Cinderella. In Rapunzel, you were Flynn Rider, and I was Rapunzel. But here...I'm Briar Rose, and you're...not the Prince. The real Prince is trapped like Chloe said."

His ears drooped. "So?"

"Well, we're together right now. Usually, we escape by reuniting, but...it's obviously not gonna work this time," she said. "Therefore, I think the best way is to go by this traditionally. I prick my finger, and you along with the fairies rescue the Prince from the dungeon. They give him the sword and shield of whatever, you help him defeat Lila who's Maleficent, and, uh, I guess he smooches me." She grimaced.

"Then that means a _kiss_ solves this whole fiasco," he replied smoothly, eyes dropping to Marinette's lips. "Shall we?"

Her eyes turned wide as he advanced towards her. "W-wait! B-but you're not the p-prince!"

"Like I _said,_ I don't think that matters. What matters is that there's at least a representative figure for the _prince_..." He pointed at himself. "...And the _princess_." He shifted it to her. "And who would you rather it be? The prince, who you have no idea what he looks like or who he is? Or _me_?" He looked at her, his emerald eyes boring into her ocean-blue ones.

"Well, obviously y-" She bit down on her lips. _Oh_ , that was a close one.

A smirk fluttered on his lips. "Was the answer what I expected, _purr_ -incess?" he murmured.

"Nope," Marinette squeaked, blushing under his widening smile. "A-and besides! I-It's t-true love! It uhhh d-d-doesn't work if we r-randomly kiss and s-stuff!"

"And you'll think that Prince will? That Prince who you don't know?" Chat raised an eyebrow as he cornered the squirming blunette and placed a hand besides her head. "Is the Prince someone who you're crushing on? Or someone who has a crush on you? Is it mutual?"

"H-how am I supposed...to know...?" she muttered.

"Exactly," Chat murmured and leaned closer. "Look at me, Marinette-"

"Chat," she breathed, "I-"

"OH MR. SPANDEX~!" Alya's voice sang from the outside. "SORRY FOR UHM DISTRACTING YOUR MAKEOUT SESSION BUT CAN YOU HELP ME? LIKE RIGHT NOW?! PRETTY PLEASE?! _KIM_?!"

"Oh, they're back early!" she squeaked.

Chat growled and eyed the embarrassed but relieved Marinette. "I haven't gotten back to you for that... _Kim_ situation," he said testily (though they've all adopted the name 'Mr. Spandex').

Marinette shrugged with a nervous laugh.

A sudden idea sprouted in his mind as a smirk crawled back to his lips. Without warning, he leaned in and pecked Marinette on the forehead, smirking wider at the surprised noise she squeaked out. "Glad that's out of the way," he whispered and strolled away, leaving a gawking Marinette behind.

"O-Oh! That darn _Kitty_!" He heard her huff loudly.

Chat threw back his head to laugh.

And stopped.

 _Kitty_.

"Oh, shoot," he breathed. "I forgot about that from the last story." He nearly turned around when Alya's voice interrupted, singing more about their nonexistent snogging sessions.

"MARINETTE AND MR. SPANDEX! SITTING IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES LOVE! THEN COMES MARRIAGE! THEN GRANNY ALYA'S GONNA COLLECT ALL THEM BABIES! HOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Chat's ears twitched irritably as he stalked over to the door and kicked it open. "Can you be a _little_ more conservative?! And for the last time, I'm not Mr..." he shouted and faltered when there was no giddy Fairy Granny Alya in sight. Instead...

"Well, that was easy. _Much_ easier than the first one," a voice drawled.

He turned around and spotted Lila, who sported a long, black form-fitting cloak and two devil horns. And green skin.

"Sup?" Chat squeaked before Lila swung an arm, and black swept across his vision.

* * *

Somehow they were out of the book.

And life was back to normal.

Chat swung himself rooftop after rooftop, eyes peering over the city of Paris as he slithered up the Eiffel Tower.

He had missed her so much. It felt so long, since seeing her beautiful blue eyes that sparkled mischievously and glinted ever so prettily at the midnight stars. Her pretty pink lips that confidently pounced words of sensibility into Akuma victims. The _lips_ that shouted the healing words of the Miraculous. The same exact _lips_ he wanted to capture so badly.

And she was there. In front of him. Gazing with those wonderful blue eyes that warmly welcomed him back to Paris.

"My Lady," he murmured and kissed her hands so tenderly. "A- _paw_ -logies for my tardiness."

He had expected a scoff. A laugh. Or a digressing topic.

But instead, a gloved hand caressed his cheek, and he unconsciously purred into it. And another that ran through his messy hair. _Oh_ , that felt good. Kitty head rubs. He stood up and looked at the once-determined eyes that now gazed lovingly at him.

"Chat," she breathed. "I missed you so much." And _embraced_ him.

He was caught off-guard.

His heart pounded.

His cheeks were flushing.

And his brain squawked before jumping off the Eiffel Tower.

"I missed...y-you...too!" he squeaked, shivering when he felt her hands slide down her back. "U-u-uhm!"

"Such a bad _kitty_ for leaving his bugaboo," she murmured and softly blew on his ear (he let out a _m_ _eep!_ ). "How shall I punish a bad little kitty-cat?"

"Daawdfdwads."

"I think so too," she whispered (wait, what _did_ he say, he thought to himself) and pulled him closer. "There are a few steps for punishment..." Another warm breath on his ears as he shut his eyes. "Ready?"

He nodded dumbly.

"First...stay still _,"_ Ladybug chuckled as her hand slowly inched back up his spine. "Second...don't make a single _sound_." And she **_kissed_** his neck, _nibbling_ , and trailed more up to his left ear. He bit his lips, screaming a disco party inside his head. He heard her chuckle again, and peeped open one eye to see her _licking_ her own lips. "And finally..." she purred.

"Finally...?" he gasped breathily.

She edged closer and stopped a hair length away from his lips. "Wake up~" she murmured.

"What-"

" ** _WWWAAAAAAAAAAAKKEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPP!_** "

His eyes shot open, and he found three fairies flapping in his vision. Instantly his mood plummeted from 100 to negative zero.

He shut his eyes.

And opened them.

Nope, they were still there.

"Do you _need_ something?" Chat tried to sound less annoyed.

"Mr. Spandex!" Rose sobbed messily. "Briar Rose is _gone!_ We can't find her _anywhere_ in the cottage!"

" _What?!_ " He immediately snapped out of his trance before groaning. "Shoot, I got played by that witch!" _But had a very nice dream_...

"Who?!" Alya and Rose simultaneously shrilled.

"Maleficent," Juleka murmured, her one uncovered eye flickered to the distant castle. "I sense her presence there."

"What about Mari-I mean, Briar?" Chat asked desperately.

Juleka paused. Silence.

They waited.

"I..." she muttered. "...t-think she's there?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Alya shrieked. "MY FUTURE GRANDCHILDREN ARE AT STAKE!"

Rose followed by more sobbing and snot.

" _Ladies_!" Chat cried. "I say we infiltrate the castle and bring back Mari- _Briar_ safe and sound! We can't let the treacherous Li- _Maleficent_ haunt us anymore!" He lithely crawled up the tree and onto the roof of the cottage. "I say we ready our arms and fight!"

"Right!" they cried back.

"Who does Maleficent think she is?! A tyrant?!"

"No!" they shouted.

"Of course not, my lovely ladies!" Chat bellowed. "She is a _fool_!"

"Fool!" they repeated, cheering.

"Now whaddya say WE KICK SOME MALEFICENT _BUTT_?!" he roared.

"YEAHHHH!"

* * *

Chat grumbled, kicking the dust (and hacked a furball), as he irritably stalked his way to the looming castle.

Alone.

 _A few minutes earlier..._

"YEAHHHH!"

Alya was the first to recover. "Sword of Truth!" she squealed. A wimpy sword poofed into Chat's hand.

Rose followed. "Shield of Virtue!" Nothing popped up.

"What?"

"It's the allergy curse," she explained as Chat gawked.

Juleka scratched her head. "I don't know, here's a cloak that's cool-looking." And a magnificent black cloak flashed majestically onto his back, floating momentarily before whooshing downwards.

"Oh, that _is cool_!" Chat chirped, bobbing up and down excitedly. "We should start heading over right-!"

"A-actually, I-I uhm...need t-to... _pay my bills!_ " Alya squeaked. And promptly zoomed back into the cottage. They saw her peek out of the window warily.

"I-uh..." They turned to Rose. "...n-need to H-HUNT FOR SURVIVAL!" And she hobbled off into forest, sending random pink sparks, and ended up getting chased by angry bipedal rabbits.

He turned around, seeing Juleka fade into the shadows.

"I'm lazy," she said bluntly.

Well. At least she was honest.

 _And now the present..._

Adrien grimaced at the blunt sword in his hands. "Why the heck does this have such a formal name when it looks like this? Though this cloak is cool as cookies," he added happily, turning around to inspect the Juleka's gift.

Chat ended up putting the sword away and whipped out his baton. The smooth, steady feel of the rod was a comforting feeling, despite missing Plagg's absence and the constant stink of Camembert cheese (he was surprised at that one). He flicked his wrist, extending the baton, as he flew over rocks and boulders and ended up in front of a _quite_ menacing wall of thorns and gnarled roots.

Without thinking, he bashed it with his baton and yelped when it grew back thicker and more menacing.

He paused.

"Don't tell me..." Chat muttered and sighed as he clicked the baton back to his belt and whipped out the tiny, unthreatening sword. He sliced into the thorns, surprised when the root immediately blackened into ash. Like Cataclysm.

He clicked his tongue. "Alright, maybe it's not that bad," he admitted.

And continued hacking his way through (occasionally choking on the ash).

It was around an hour later, when the sun started settling in the horizon, that he popped out of the last barrier, huffing and wheezing. "That...was the most exercise I've ever gotten," he panted.

"Hey you."

Chat tiredly turned, seeing his classmate, _Ivan_ , dressed in a dragon costume (thank god it wasn't a dress or skirt, he shivered).

"Sup Ivy," he greeted.

Ivan immediately reeled back in fear. "How did you _almost_ know my name?" he gasped.

"Uhhh..." Chat chuckled nervously. " _Purr_ -sonal sources?"

Ivan's eyes narrowed. "You must be a threat to Magnificent's plan."

"You mean Maleficent?"

Chat watched the large male's visage pinch into confusion. And then realization. "Oh yeah," Ivan said and readied himself. "You have to get through me to get to the castle, where you have to get through Maleficent to get to the princess." And pounced his fists together.

"Uh I'm good," he said and flicked out his baton to hop over the gawking dragon and onto the bridge.

* * *

"Just... _put_...your finger... _right here_ ," Lila said patiently.

"No."

The witch screamed in frustration and glared at the nonchalant blunette. "I told you _to put your finger right here! Now!_ "

Marinette grimaced at the sharp needle sticking from the spinning wheel. "Oh heck no. Do you know how sharp that thing is?" And shivered.

Lila huffed through her nose, her eyes shooting out daggers. "I...will give you... _animal crackers_."

" _Oooooh!_ Animal crackers?"

"Yes," Lila crooned, happy that she caught the blunette's attention. "All you _have to do...is prick your finger_."

Marinette thought about it for a bit. "Actually, I have a ton at home I need to finish," she admitted.

"GAH, YOU INSOLENT BRAT!" Lila shrieked and slammed open the door to stalk her way down the stairs, leaving Marinette behind in the room. "Humans are so _frustrating_ these days!" She heard the angry witch retort.

"Well, _sorry_ I practice good safety habits." Marinette crossed her arms.

She saw the witch hurry back up the stairs and lock the door behind her.

"Pleasure meeting you again."

"Just... _prick_ your finger. **_Now_** ," Lila hissed.

"What if I don't feel like it?" she challenged.

The witch's eyes darkened considerably. "I guess I'll have to _make_ you do it." And she advanced towards the blunette (who got into a karate stance) and whipped out her wand. " _Rabbit guts, rhino horn, a feast of madness to make_ ," she chanted. " _Place a spell on this brat and prick her finger to rest!_ "

"That's the worst spell I've ever heard," Marinette muttered before a green light entered her body and she robotically stood up, facing the spinning wheel. "Oh, crabnuggets." She walked over and placed her finger on the needle, instantly feeling something drip and drowsiness.

 _Chat_ , she whispered, hearing Lila's cackling (and coughing) and crumpled into the darkness.

* * *

Chat sneezed.

"I really hope there aren't flowers around here," he muttered and ran down the stairs, his cloak trailing behind him. He hopped down the stairs, momentarily tripping over a sleeping guard.

"God, why is this guard sleep-?" he began as a look of horror washed in. "Oh _no_. Did Marinette-? Gosh dang it!" He jumped over a few more snoring guards and yanked the keys from the cabinets.

"Prince!" Chat called. "Where are you?"

"Yooohoooo~! To your right!" a voice called, and Chat turned around, seeing an extraordinarily gleeful (stark-naked) Kim clapping his hands. "My good spandex fellow! Maleficent captured me while I was taking a bath and-HEY!" he shouted when Chat grimly went back. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE HERE TO RESCUE ME!"

"Uhhhh, _no_."

Kim squawked, clearly offended. "I'm the only one who can break the curse on my betrothed!"

Chat rolled his eyes. "I think you'll make her want to stay in the curse." And promptly left the shrieking, indignant (naked) Kim in the dungeon.

He was back into the main room of the castle, where the king and queen slumbered on the thrones and the hundreds of nobles that lay on the ground. He squinted his eyes. Indeed it was Mr. and Mrs. Dupaine-Cheng, looking quite comfortable as they tilted their heads towards each other, a serene expression.

The sounds of heels clicking on the marble floor flickered his attention to the large staircase.

"Lila," he addressed.

"Wrong person," she snapped.

"Oh, yeah uhm, Maleficent."

"Fancy meeting _you_ again, Mr. Spandex!" Lila cackled manically and rubbed her hands. "I guess you're not so bad, seeing how you got past my _dragon_ pet."

"Well..." His mind wandered back to Ivan.

"Now you get the present of facing _me_!" The witch flapped her hands and flew into the air, hovering unsteadily and coughing from the whirled-up dust ("Do they not clean here?!" she shrieked). She readied her wand at Chat. "I'll take you with me! Farewell, Spandex Man!" she roared. " _Sleeping Paradise! A sleeping curse that lasts for **one hundred years**._"

And flowers began raining from the ceiling, showering the room as a few bonked harmlessly off Chat. He looked up at her, confused.

"Why isn't it working?!" she shrieked.

Chat opened his mouth before sneezing uncontrollably.

"NOOOOO!" Lila wailed. "THE ALLERGY CURSE! _CURSE_ WHOEVER _CURSED_ YOU WITH THAT!" And, while raising a fist in the air, promptly fainted, letting out an ungodly snore.

He hobbled up the stairs, while sneezing in all the glory, and made sure to ' _accidentally_ ' kick Lila before sneezing again and bounded up the stairs. For some reason, a gut feeling told him it was the topmost room.

Chat flung open the door, seeing a peaceful Marinette asleep on the bed.

"Well, whaddya know? My gut was right for once," he chirped cheerfully and plopped onto the bedside. He brushed away the bangs and leaned in to kiss her forehead before something stopped him.

 _Kitty_.

He looked at Marinette's tranquil expression. Unknowingly, his hand brushed her dark-blue locks and tangled his fingers within them.

 _Kitty_.

"I wonder if you're her," he murmured. "You need to give me more clues."

And he softly planted a kiss on her nose.

"Chat?"

He pulled away, staring at the wide-eyes.

"Oh you're awake," Chat chuckled. "I was thinking I had to kiss you on the lips."

She blinked, a light pink dusting her cheeks. "You didn't get the Prince?"

"You'll be thankful I didn't," he said darkly as the familiar white light lit the room. He looked up. "Next story, you'll have to give me more clues," the cat said and smirked at the bewildered girl.

"Clues?" she echoed.

"Yup." His eyes glittered mischievously. "Clues to your ident-"

And he sneezed as they warped to the next fairy tale.

* * *

 **A/N: Toned down the humor and crossdressing LOL. And thank you for the continued support ^^ As always, leave a review for improvements and suggestions :D Or anything! You can trash me too I guess**

 **Updated List: Cinderella (x), Tangled (x), Sleeping Beauty (x), Snow-White and Rose-Red, Mulan, Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Snow White, Princess and the Pea, Hercules, Swan Princess, Brave, Rumpelstiltskin, Puss in Boots, Twelve Dancing Princesses (warning: possible crossdressing) Snow Queen, _Alice in Wonderland_ , _Mary Poppins_ (I'll see where I go with that LOL o-o), _Lion King_ , _Road to El Dorado_ (hell, yes), and Beauty and the Beast.**


	5. Chapter 5: Red and White Part 1

F i v e

"Red-Rose! Wake up!"

Snore.

"Red-Rose! You must wake up, child."

Marinette tossed to the other side. "Not today... I'll buy cookies tomorrow," she grumbled. To her relief, the voice stopped as she sighed into the warmth of the bed, the gentle aroma of roses, and the sweet fireplace that was currently warming her cold bum. The silence was a nice bonus-

"ISAIDWAKETHEFLIPPITYPANCAKESUP!" the voice shrieked, causing Marinette to jump up, looking quite bedraggled.

"Whuh in da num off shuga-"

" _Finally_. You've been sleeping like a log this morning! It's already two in the afternoon." Through bleary eyes and eye boogers, Marinette squinted at the blob-like figure in front of her. And she blinked more.

 _Where am I? I had such a good sleep... I'm...so tired...wait, who is that...oh...is that-? **O** **h no**. _Disbelief hit her _._ Marinette deliberately went back under the covers, hoping she could fall asleep again. Unfortunately, the covers were yanked off.

"WHY IN THE SUGAR ARE YOU GOING BACK TO SLEEP?!"

And she saw a very irritated-looking _Madame Bustier_ glaring at her.

"Ni hao," Marinette squeaked.

The redheaded woman quirked an eyebrow. "Chinese? Well, I suppose you can learn a bit. Anyhow, your sister's been _acting_ up these days. She keeps insisting on going outside to clear her 'beauty' headache. Whatever that is." She waved her hand dismissively. "Go fetch Snow-White for a late lunch meal."

"U-uhm oka- ** _wait, Snow-White_**?" Marinette echoed dumbly, her blue eyes widening.

"Yes, your sister."

"H-Hold up, _Snow-White_? When did she ever have a _sister_?"

Madame Bustier looked at the blunette as if she started talking in Swahili. "Hate to break it to you, but _you're_ her sister," she deadpanned.

" _Me_?" Marinette gaped and scrambled out of bed to grasp Madame Bustier by the shoulders. "What's my _name_ , Madame Bustier?" she asked. "Are there seven dwarves around here? Or maybe a distant castle with some maniacal beauty-obsessed witch talking to a psychotic mirror?"

Madame Bustier slowly pried Marinette's iron grip fists off her shoulders. "...Did you sniff too many herbs, Rose-Red?" she questioned, genuinely concerned. "Some _are known_ to cause temporary amnesia. Some hallucinations, though it's legal here. Wait, you two didn't touch my wine cellar, did you?" she muttered the last part to herself.

"So I'm Rose-Red..." Marinette said blankly. "Crabnuggets. Did the original _Snow-White_ story include a person named Rose-Red...? Or perhaps this is an entirely different story, and I'm too uneducated to know it?" she murmured and ran a hand through her hair, "That's possible. We also have a mother...I wonder if Madame Bustier is the evil ugly witch..."

"I can hear you," Madame Bustier snapped crossly. "And honey no, I don't _think_ I'm a witch, thank you very much. I'm a perfectly normal human."

Marinette nodded understandingly. "So you're a human. That means we're in a different story with a chick named Snow-White and her sister Rose-Red..."

"Say what now?"

"Do you know where Snow-White is? I uhm need to discuss some...uh... _stuff_ with her," Marinette said vaguely as a particularly menacing thought kept smacking her in the head. _Please don't let it be Chloe._

"She's outside by the garden. But are you sure you don't want to sleep in some more?" the redhead asked. "You are _really_ off your rockers today. I mean, normally you are, but today it's off the charts."

"Nope. I'm good." Marinette hopped off the bed and patted Bustier on the shoulder. "I'm feeling quite fly today. Thanks." _Please do NOT let it be Chloe,_ she shivered _._

The blunette walked out of the room and stopped. "Where do I-" she began.

"Left and the door will be to your right," Madame Bustier's exasperated voice floated by. "Geez..." Marinette heard her mumbling about teenage daughters and their weirdness, but she followed her instructions and locked fingers with the doorknob. A deep breath. _Please absolutely in the name of sugary desserts and cupcakes and the delicious croissants at our bakery DO NOT let Snow-White be Chloe Bourgeoise. I am NOT in the mood to be with her in this story that I have NO clue whatsoever. I will even-_

The door smacked Marinette in the face as she stumbled backwards, clutching onto her nose.

"O.M.G. There's a bear outside!" Chloe cried, flying in a snow-white cloak, as she dove underneath a table. She then blinked and stuck her head out. "Oh, hey it's you."

Marinette took a moment to bang her head against the wall before shutting the door. "Hello Chloe," she greeted with a graciously wide smile.

"Why do I feel like that smile is 150% fake?"

"Children, what is all the ruckus this afternoon?" Madame Bustier cried as she fluttered into the room. "Have my two daughters gone mad on this lovely day?"

"A _long_ time ago," Marinette said cheerfully.

"TEACHER!" Chloe shrieked and flung her arms onto Madame Bustier's shoulders. "T-THERE'S A BEAR OUT THERE! A _BIG_ BLACK BEAR. FIND A WAY TO GET RID OF THAT HORRENDOUS BEAR. IT'S BEEN CHASING ME AND TRYING TO EAT ME OR SOMETHING!"

"Nonsense!" Madame Bustier said. "There aren't supposed to be bears around here."

Marinette looked out the window. "There's _literally_ a forest surrounding us," she pointed out.

"Would you two like to hear a story on why?" Madame Bustier offered.

" _NO._ "

The redhead woman cleared her throat. "It was a long long time ago, you see. I was in the prime time-"

"MADAME, THERE IS _A BEAR_ OUTSIDE OUR HOUSE!"

"-of my life, working as a teacher. It was not long until I met your father, who was a local milkman, and we _immediately_ fell in love. We left that annoying village and came in the middle of the woods to build this lovely cottage. Most importantly, we grew two trees, one with red roses and another white roses. After we fooled around for a bit and had you two by accident, we decided to name you two after the trees, because it was kind of convenient. You two were inseparable from birth and loved each other very much."

Marinette looked curious, though she gagged at the last part. "So what happened to h-I mean, father?"

"Oh him?" Madame Bustier waved her hand dismissively. "He cheated on me, and I knocked him out and hauled his sweet arse into the deep woods. Haven't heard back since from the village or any nearby towns." She looked nonchalant while the two stared at her in horror.

"Okay first, that was the worst story I've ever heard," Chloe snapped after recovering. "Second, what the heck does it have to do with a bear in a non-bear forest?!" Marinette on the other hand wondered if they should report to the authorities.

Madame Bustier shrugged. "Thought you were lying about the bear. I wanted to change topics because I didn't know the answer."

"IT'S OUTSIDE OUR DOOR!" Chloe screeched at an ungodly pitch. A polite knock was heard on the door. "SEE?!" The blonde pointed desperately. "IT _SENSES_ US IN HERE."

"That's quite a civilized bear," she remarked casually.

It was Chloe's turn to stand next to the wall and promptly bash her head on it, leaving a dent next to Marinette's. "When was our teacher so lackluster and _stupid_?" she gritted her teeth.

"Oi, I can _hear_ you."

"That's the point!" Chloe snapped back, leaving no room for Madame Bustier to respond. "Hey you _prick_. Go check the door," she ordered to the blunette, who looked quite tired of life and was already heading back to the bedroom. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"Eternal sleep."

"Help me, you idiot!"

"I'm not exactly in the mood to deal with your rants or open way for a starving bear. Surprisingly, I'd much rather be with Chat and his terrible, overrated cat puns that are now my top pet peeves..." Marinette faltered. A record scratched and rewinded in her head. "Wait Chloe, what did you say the bear tried to do?"

Chloe looked impatient. "He chased and tried to _eat_ me."

"Oh, that's right. It's winter time right now," Madame Bustier cut in. "The bears should all be sleeping. Or something. Like getting fat and lazy."

"You mean hibernating?" Marinette asked.

"...Yes."

"Well, that one is hungry and not lazy as heck," Chloe seethed. "I personally saw it run towards me on two hind legs with a front paw up in a wave. It looked like it was going to swipe down and break my delicate neck!"

Multiple scenarios flashed through Marinette's head as she sighed and placed a hand over her eyes. "Please don't tell me that bear had black fur and green eyes." _And don't tell me he was trying to wave at you,_ she thought tiredly.

"It had black fur and green eyes," Chloe said monotonously. Then she screeched, "BUT CHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A CAT!"

"I'm 150% sure that's Chat Noir...actually 90%. Maybe 50%."

"30%?" Madame Bustier offered, apparently ignorant.

"You're not helping."

"Marinette, go check the door," Chloe ordered.

("Who's Marinette?" Madame Bustier was promptly ignored.)

"Wow." Marinette blinked her ocean blue eyes, slightly awed. "Is that the first time you called me by my name?" ("Now who's Chloe?" Madame Bustier inquired.)

"Not. _The_. Time," Chloe hissed impatiently. Another knock was heard on the door, this time weaker. "Hurry up! Go look, you prick!"

"Fine, you stupid scaredy-cat!" Marinette snapped and she stomped her way over to the door. She unlocked it and yanked it open, only to get a full blast of winter wind and snow flying onto her blubbering face. She wiped it off with her sleeve, only then did she realize she was in a red cloak ("Really self-explanatory name for Rose-Red," she muttered crossly).

"H-H-H-H-Hey, M-M-Ma-r-r-ri-n-n-nette," Chat chattered in the cold wind. To her relief (and not), he was the normal-sized black bear with the same signature green irises and black-slitted pupils. "W-W-W-What t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-took y-y-y-y-y-y-you s-s-so l-l-long?" His whole body was quivering.

"Uhhm sorry I...-okay, you should come in because I have no clue what you're saying."

His head dipped shakily, and Marinette could only acknowledge it as a nod. She made way for the bear to trudge inside slowly and slammed the door forcibly against the harsh biting wind.

"You idiot! Why did you let the bear inside?!" Chloe screamed.

"I told _you_ , he's Chat!" Marinette snapped. "Is your brain the size of a peanut!?"

"Y-Yo Chloe...Y-You're in a h-human form f-f-for once..." Chat greeted, ignoring her indignant shriek, and sat next to the fireplace, sighing in relief. "D-Dang, the winter outside i-is nothing like P-Paris..."

"Rose-Red," Madame Bustier cut in. "Is that bear your friend?"

"Yes, he is," Marinette confirmed.

"Oh, that's good." Madame Bustier blinked before deliberately fainting.

"Great now she's gone," Chloe huffed and plopped down on a couch. "Anyways, the _three_ of us...why the heck are we...you know...swinging from place to place? What in the world is going on?" she demanded.

The blunette blinked. "We've already been in three chapters inside the book, and you still don't know what's going on?" Marinette looked exasperated. "You literally were the step-sister in Cinderella...and Flynn Rider's horse...and...uh, a crow." A part of her then realized how insignificant Chloe's roles were in the past two stories.

"A book?" the blonde echoed. "Cinderella?" She pondered it for a moment. "Oh yeah, wasn't your name Cinderella or something awhile back? What's up with that? Both Sabrina and my fathe-" Her face darkened considerably as Marinette remembered the unfortunately-dressed Mayor Bourgeoise. "A-anyways," Chloe continued, "they didn't recognize us as classmates but as family."

"I'm actually impressed she made it this far without knowing what the heck was going on," Chat admitted as he raised his bear paws to the fire. "Basically, we got stuck in a fairy tale book from Cristal. Fairy tale books are just short stories you read for fun or something by the way," he explained. "Anyways, Cristal's still Akumatized, judging by how we're still trapped. I've come up with two theories on getting out of this book. One way to get out is to complete all these stories (that you have no clue about). The second is for someone on the outside to save us. It would be very nice if a certain _somebody_ could Lucky-Charm all of this up."

"Yeah, why isn't Ladybug saving us yet?" Chloe snapped crossly. "She always solves it in the blink of an eye and restores all the chaotic mess-"

"...that you create..." Chat muttered.

"-so what's wrong with her this time?"

"I guess it _is_ strange. She always has that handy-dandy yo-yo of hers," Chat said. Little did the two blonds know that Marinette was silent and nervously drenched in pounds of sweat as she tried to cover her ladybug earrings with hair. "Maybe she's trapped in here as well?" he offered.

"Well that's just fricking _fantastic_ ," Chloe hissed.

Chat's mouth turned into a frown. "I still...believe in her. Ladybug always saves the day."

"Maybe she's trapped and can't activate her powers," Marinette charged in, her eyes wide and lips forced into a smile.

"What are you trying to say?" Chloe asked crossly. "Are you saying she's stuck in her normal form here? Look at that mangy alley-cat." She pointed to the said disgruntled feline. "He can transform into that hideous costume perfectly fine."

"Thanks." Chat was about to cover himself before realizing, "Wait, I'm a bear."

"B-but Chat...er...already entered when he was transformed. A-And now h-he can't transform b-back!" Marinette offered. "I-I'm just listing out p-possibilities!" she said defensively.

" _Whatever_ ," the blonde hissed and tossed her hair aside. "Ugh, and to think I could depend on Ladybug. She's probably at home watching TV and not doing a single thing while that wild Akuma runs wild."

Marinette bristled. "Well, at least I'm not a snotty bee prancing about and ruining lives," she muttered darkly.

"Uh _okay_!" Chat cut in abruptly. "Let's settle down girls. We all cool and we all human. Mistakes happen (more than often for some), so let's all be accepting!" he chirped cheerily with a big goofy smile (if you can imagine that on a bear).

" _ **Never**_!" they hissed.

"Well," he said testily, "I tried."

"She obviously has no clue on how hard superheroes work!" Marinette bristled, her eyebrows scrunching downwards. "We're both trying our best to get out while she sits there on her rich butt wondering when anybody would save her! What a rotten princess!"

"What did you call me, you beggar?!" Chloe screeched. "Do you wanna fight?!"

Marinette folded her arms. "Oh, and what if I do? What can you do without money and your Daddy at your side?!"

"Bring it on, you peasant!"

"Please don't do this," Chat sighed and grimly watched as the two girls launched themselves at each other. He, however, perked up and promptly said, "I guess this is a bar- _bear_ -ian cat-fight."

He looked away when they both shot him deadly glares.

* * *

Chloe's sleek ponytail was yanked out into a free-flowing yet tangled wave. She glowered at a wall with two black eyes and a bruised nose with a few scratches on her cheeks.

Marinette on the other hand stood happily next to the silent Chat, despite having one of her pigtails undone and nail scratches decorating her face. Still, it was better than Chloe's condition, and that was how both (Chloe begrudgingly and silently) accepted it as Marinette's _win_.

"Anyone have any clue on how to start this story?" Chat offered, relieved that the fight ended.

The blunette folded her arms. "No. I don't know this story. You don't either, right?" She watched helplessly as the black bear scratched his head, his green eyes concentrating on the hearth. "Anything that rings a bell?" she offered. "Rose-Red? Snow-White? Twins?"

"Nope. I'd also like to add in a clue that I'm a bear." Chat looked down at himself. "Seriously, out of all the creatures..."

Marinette stifled a laugh as she cleared her throat. "I honestly am wondering that too. Is Madame Bustier awake by any chance?" she asked, her eyes fluttering to the passed-out woman, who they finally dragged onto the couch.

" _Nope_ ," Chloe snapped.

Marinette looked like she was about to land a kick at Chloe's already-messed-up hair, but she turned to Chat with a stiff smile. "Why don't we go to sleep for now? It's already nighttime, and Madame Bustier isn't waking up according to a _certain somebody_."

"We should," Chat agreed. "I'm honestly exhausted after going through fairytale by fairytale. Pondering on nothing is honestly gonna give us unnecessary stress." He yawned and settled into a curl. "You guys can take the two bedrooms. I like it here."

Immediately, Chloe shot up and raced to what Marinette assumed as the master bedroom.

She grumbled a few things under her breath before patting Chat and strolling to the other unoccupied bedroom. She heaved herself up and covered herself with the warm blankets. From the corner of Marinette's eye, she could still see the glow of the hearth in the living room and Chat's bear shadow that loomed to her bedroom entrance. She pulled the cover closer to her lips, her eyes never leaving the shadow before they finally closed from tiredness.

* * *

"Ooooh, she looks _nice_."

"What about the other one?"

"She snored into my face, and I nearly fainted."

"Our prince wouldn't like that."

"Yes, he's very delicate."

"This one smells like she brushed her teeth."

Whispers passed through her ears, and a groan crawled through her throat. Marinette blinked sleepily as she was still facing the entrance to her bedroom, noticing how the hearth finally faded and how Chat's shadow remained in the same place. However, a chilly air brushed her left cheek, and she turned to see the opened window.

Oh, and not to mention, three miniature figures.

Marinette blinked again, her eyes now widening at the three moving silhouettes perched on her railing.

"Oh smuckle-berry, she's awake!" one cursed.

"Told you to be quiet, you fool!"

"Excuse me? Who was the one who shrieked like a hyena at the sight of a rat?"

"That wasn't me, that was Fi-"

"Shut up, Two and Three!" another finally hissed. Marinette saw the said figure turn towards her. "Pardon us, ma'am. We're the three jolly gnome representatives from the Gnome Kingdom. We are in search of a fair maiden for our lovely, delicate prince. I am Gnome One, and these are my friends, Gnome Two and Three."

Marinette's eyebrow twitched. "How _convenient_ ," she said.

"Yes! We are here to escort you to the Gnome Kingdom and become the bride and pride of our Prince. What do you say we go right now?" one said cheerfully. Marinette assumed this one was Two, due to the squeaky voice.

"What if I say no?"

The three froze.

"Er. Uh, do we have a backup plan?" Three asked.

"No," One promptly replied.

"What do we do?"

"Kidnap her?" Two offered.

"Brilliant."

"Ingenious."

Marinette paled and immediately opened her mouth to scream before a bag was pulled over her head and muffled her shouts. She wondered why she didn't do this in the first place before trying to fight for her life.

" _ **Off to Gnome Kingdom and Prince Theo!**_ " they simultaneously cheered and gruffly pulled the squirming blunette through the window

* * *

 **A/N: So I've already started class since the beginning of August. Hence my delay and awkward pacing :D Sorry! I left this chapter unfinished for a bit, so I decided to split this part in two for you guys.**

 **It's getting a bit busier nowadays, but I like most of my classes. yayayayay for positivity! :D**

 **Oh! For those in the United States, there's gonna be a solar eclipse! Make sure to check your times and get ready to see this awesome phenomenon! Too bad it's only partial in my area, but I'll take whatever I can get! Aight, signing off for homework and midterms XD Have fun!**

 **Updated List: Cinderella (x), Tangled (x), Sleeping Beauty (x), Snow-White and Rose-Red (another chap :D), Mulan, Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Snow White, Princess and the Pea, Hercules, Swan Princess, Brave, Rumpelstiltskin, Puss in Boots, Twelve Dancing Princesses (warning: possible crossdressing) Snow Queen, _Alice in Wonderland_ , _Mary Poppins_ (I'll see where I go with that LOL o-o), _Lion King_ , _Road to El Dorado_ (hell, yes), Hans the Hedgehog (o-o I'll need to look this up), Hunchback of Notre Dame, Moana, Frozen, Elena of Avalor, Aristrocrats, Lady and the Tramp, and Beauty and the Beast.**


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